Not My Plan But Yours

I thought I had it figured out. I declared my major as nursing. I applied to the program at my school. I thought I was about to start what would be the rest of my life. Only thing is, I wasn't excited.

Let me back up to a few months ago. I started college as undecided. I had no idea what I was good at, or the kind of career path I wouldn't mind doing for the rest of my life. My mom was a doctor and my grandfather a dentist, so I figured the medical field was the way to go. I jumped into the idea of nursing head first, taking all the classes necessary to get ready for the actual nursing program. Wow did I struggle. I have never been so stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted both physically and mentally from just one science class per semester. I knew in the back of my mind that I was slowly getting more and more miserable, but I told myself to suck it up because I had already declared a major, and I might as well stick to it.

Recently, I had the nursing school entrance exam. I studied extremely hard, all the negative, miserable feelings flooding my mind again. I took the exam. Got in my car. I broke down. Did I fail the exam? No. But what I was failing was myself, and God. Something inside my head and heart clicked. Nursing was not, I repeat not, for me. It was the first time I had allowed myself to say those words out loud, and it felt good. I drove to my aunt's house, and we figured out a plan. It was nice to be able to talk about other opportunities I had, and the fact that it is never too late for me to change my mind.

I am still undecided. I am in a place where prayer is constant. I am waiting on God to tell me what I am suppose to do.

I should have listened to the still small voice that had been talking to me for months. It was God. He has a plan for me that is far better than my own. He knows what my strengths and weaknesses are. He knows where I will thrive and what I need to do to accomplish that. I'm so thankful He doesn't give up on me. He gives me options I didn't even know I had.

God loves you. He wants to give you a life full of success and happiness but in order to achieve that, you must be willing to listen. Change is scary. It's unknown, and uncertainty. But if we humble ourselves and ask what God wants for us, we will find out His plan is far better than anything we could have come up with ourselves.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11