This week I went back to my college after graduating in May. For a while, I had been reluctant to go back because I felt ashamed of the progress I have made since graduating. Having just gone through Thanksgiving, I got all the questions about my career and what I plan to do with my life, and to be honest I didn't have much to say.
Going back to school, I was afraid to face some of my friends and afraid of having to answer the same questions about my life and what I'm doing. For some reason, it feels more embarrassing to not have your life together when all your friends seem to.
As it has been almost six months since I graduated, it is evident that the plans I had envisioned for myself are not going happen. For a while this truth always made me feel like a failure, the constant rejection from jobs I had hoped to get, the fact that I am still living at home when I had hoped to move out by now, I felt embarrassed of my failure.
When I went back to school this week, I saw a lot of friends that I haven't seen since graduation. As always I got the questions I was expecting, but it seems that I am not the only one who is going through this major transition. Talking with them for a while about what I was feeling helped me realize that it's okay to take this time to figure things out. Even though it may feel like I have failed, I haven't given myself enough time to figure out what I really want.
Even though I dreaded going back to school, mostly because I miss the life I had as a student, it made me realize that I'm not alone in the confusion of being a 20-something graduate with no clue what's going on. I need to take this time to figure out my long-term plan, and not let others success make me feel like I'm failing. I need to let my goals and dreams motivate me, not scare me into hiding myself away.
