Last week, I got a really nasty upper respiratory infection. It ruined my life for a few days — and that’s not an exaggeration.
Normally, this sort of thing wouldn’t shake me too much. I don’t get sick a lot, but when I do, I just lie on the couch and watch Little House on the Prairie until my heart feels better, even if my body doesn’t. But this past week in particular, I really needed to be healthy for two reasons: first, I was headed to freshman orientation at SUNY Fredonia, and second, after orientation I planned to spend a few days at a beach resort with my boyfriend and his family.
This URI made me really, really sick. This was my first time being truly bedridden since I had appendicitis in first grade. I arrived in New York on Wednesday and woke up at one o’clock that morning with a burning throat and churning stomach. From there on out, my immune system was at war. I managed to attend one session at orientation before calling my mom in tears and begging her to take me to urgent care. I made no new friends, no connections, and didn’t even get to tour the campus. I came back from college orientation with nothing more than registration papers and a drawstring bag I bought on clearance from the bookstore. For a girl who is pretty nervous about college, it was heartbreaking.
As for the beach vacation, which I desperately needed in the midst of summer rehearsals and camps, I mustered up the health and courage to go for one day instead of three. But I couldn’t spend much time in the water because it exhausted me, and I felt like I was keeping the entire family awake with my coughing.
I spent $300 on my ticket to New York. I was pining for that 4th of July beach vacation for weeks. This week was supposed to prepare me for the future as well as give me a chance to finally, finally relax. I don’t think I did anything in particular to deserve writhing in a scratchy hotel bed with a high fever, nausea, and a broken heart for five days, but it happened to me anyway.
Even though people always say, “everything happens for a reason,” you can’t tell me that sudden sickness, death, or heartbreak happens for a reason. However, after this experience, I have to add a “but” to that statement: you can’t tell me that everything happens for a reason, but I will always believe that something good can come from the bad.
What I mean is this: there was no reason for me to miss orientation and miss quality time with my friends and family. But, believe it or not, there was something really good that came out of it. Over the course of senior year, I became increasingly snippy and short-tempered with my mom. Not uncommon for a teenager, you know? But in hindsight, I can see that I’ve treated her unfairly over small things the past couple months. I knew it in the back of my head, but my stress over school and my own inherent mule-headedness kept me from doing anything to change myself, which I really regret.
While I was sick, my mom was selfless. She missed out on visiting my brother, who she only sees a few times a year, just so she could answer my every beck and call. When I woke up at two in the morning and asked for a cold wash cloth to put on my forehead, she did it without complaint. She rubbed my back, she took me to two doctor’s appointments, she made whatever weird food I asked for, and she bought me a $15 stuffed bunny when I told her, in tears, that I just wanted to hold something softer than the hotel bedding. She did everything for me, and was endlessly patient. When I needed her the most, she was there with no hesitation.
Getting this URI renewed my appreciation for my mother. It should’ve been there all along, but it took being really sick for me to remember just how much she sacrifices for me on a daily basis. I’m proud to say that I know a change has taken place within me, and the little wall I was unintentionally building between us no longer exists. Even though missing orientation and the beach vacation was heartbreaking, I’m grateful that the URI has opened a door for me to actively try to treat my mother the way she ought to be treated.
You can’t tell me that this URI happened for a reason. Without getting knee-deep in theology, I don’t believe God makes bad things happen. But He is always gracious enough to show me a silver lining after heartbreak, and for that I am so, so grateful.
