The other day, I was driving back to school from my grandmother’s house and I heard an ad on the radio. It was a good ad; I liked it. In the ad, a father, somewhat awkwardly but endearingly, tried to talk to his son about the danger of underage drinking. I appreciated the commercial and its message, but I was somewhat saddened, and not for the reason you might think.

We live in a culture of extremes. Those extremes extend to everything — to politics, to clothing, to lifestyles. When it comes to alcohol, I’ve encountered people on either side of the alcohol wall — the people who drink to excess on a regular basis and have suffered the consequences, and the people who believe alcohol is Satan’s Select Brew and never touch a drop. There are still consequences for this type of extremism, but they are more subtle, and few realize they have suffered under this equally extreme standard.

Like Aristotle says, virtue always rests in the mean between two extremes. I’m a Catholic, and we are all for balance. This goes for alcohol, too. This probably surprises you -- perhaps you’ve only encountered the alcohol extremism Catholics: the party-hardy Irish or the tee-totaling Holy Rollers. This latter group is especially a problem in America, where we have been heavily influenced by the puritanical roots of this country. Yet, for everyone, including Catholics, we need to realize that alcohol in itself is a Good, meant for our pleasure and genuine enjoyment. Nevertheless, outright drunkenness is gravely immoral, and should always be carefully avoided.

I used to waitress, and I learned a great deal while in that industry. I took a year off before college and worked, and I truly enjoyed it. One of the things I was required to do to waitress here in Pennsylvania was to take the RAMP safe alcohol serving course online. I learned exactly how much alcohol a person can drink to be at a certain blood alcohol content level, depending on his/her weight, gender, food and non-alcoholic liquid consumed and amount of time passed. I learned about how to monitor patrons' behaviors and alcohol consumption, and how to approach a situation safely if they’d had too much. I incorporated this knowledge into my own life, and always keep a close eye on my own and my friends' consumptions. I’m grateful for the freedom I gained through this knowledge — freedom to drink well and enjoy ourselves without being reckless.

Then, last summer, I waitressed at a beautiful Italian restaurant in my home town, known as a classy wine and martini bar. The wait staff there was dedicated to finding an alcoholic option that would genuinely please every palate and make a meal significantly more enjoyable. Because the restaurant was closed on Mondays, one Monday evening the entire wait staff congregated for a required alcohol class. We brought covered dishes and ate dinner together around the polished bar as the manager taught us the ins and outs of alcohol. She had been bartending for 12 years all over the country; she was phenomenal.

We learned about the origins of wines, liquors and beers; we learned what regions they are made in, and about the varieties each region is known for. We tasted tiny amounts of low-end and high-end options for each variety, and were taught to recognize the differences. Did you know that peat fire flavors scotch? Or that vodka can be made from either potatoes, grains or grapes? The potato variety is the driest, the grape far sweeter. I learned that craft beers are powerfully flavorful, and that beer on draft tastes better because it isn’t pasteurized. Also, the sweeter white wine made from Gewürztraminer grapes often causes headaches, so watch out.

The class was professional, enjoyable and amazing. I wish this was a thing in our culture, not just for professional wait staff, but for all young adults as they reach the drinking age. When I go out to bars with my friends, I research them first and find ones with large varieties of craft beers and knowledgeable, fun staff. We sit around and listen to the music for a few hours, pacing ourselves, spacing drinks with water and food and knowing that each of us has each other’s back. We never get carried away.

Or, we stay in for the evening, and I’ll experiment with a new cocktail recipe as my friend Ben builds a campfire, and David strums his guitar.

This is how alcohol should be enjoyed. Look up some info about alcohol. Learn a bit. Find out what a reasonable limit is for you, based on gender and body mass, and keep in mind the importance of eating food and drinking water while drinking. Find a new bar or restaurant and invite a few friends whom you trust. It’s so worth it. Find a way for alcohol to enhance the enjoyment of your evening, and to create lasting memories, not regrets.

I’ll leave you with a dear friend’s sage advice: Never drink a beer or wine that is advertised during the Super Bowl. Knowing that alone will set you up for a good start.