You can be sitting right next to someone that is having a truly horrible day. They are struggling. They are suffering. They want to break down. They want to cry. Some days they just want to give up. And you'd never know it because you won't even bother taking the time to ask them how they're doing.

The days that are struggling like that are days that happen quite regularly. And sadly, because nobody takes the time to find out what's going on, the struggles, the suffering in my life, the agony and pain? Nobody knows but me.

Depression destroys lives. It makes people not want to get out of bed. It makes them not want to socialize. It makes them lose jobs. I've talked about it again and again. But on most days, I struggle. I suffer. I don't want to leave the house. I don't want to talk to someone. And because nobody seems to want to ask what I'm going through, nobody knows but me.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone. The pain. The agony. The suffering. The struggling. The emotional pain. The feeling that you're not good enough. The feeling that nobody wants to be around you. The feeling that people ask you to do things because they feel sorry for you, they feel obligated, or they don't want to leave you alone. The way that feels? Because nobody bothers to take the time to ask how I'm feeling, how I"m thinking, what's going on in my mind, or how I"m doing? Nobody knows but me.

Depression, anxiety, mental illness, and so many other words are like poison in today's society. People run. They hide. They don't want to talk to you. They're afraid of you. They avoid you like you have a disease that's contagious. And all you want to do is have someone ask how you're doing. All you want to do is have someone act as they care. All you want to do is feeling loved.

Sadly, people are too busy putting on a fake image. They are too busy trying to make their life look good. They are posting things on social media to make it look like they have this great family life and everything is peachy. All the while there is a pain, struggling, suffering, anger, depression, anxiety and so many other emotions floating around that they don't even realize is happening. Because they don't care. And they know how I feel. Nobody knows but me.

Anxiety is a horrible feeling. It makes you not want to leave the house. It makes you afraid to be around people. It makes you feel unloved. Depression ruins things that shouldn't be ruined. It destroys what could be an otherwise perfect day. But because people are too busy stuck in their own head, too busy caring about maintaining their own image, too busy trying to make their life look good, and too busy, not caring? What the pain, agony, suffering and struggling feels like? Nobody knows but me.

Depression isn't a pity party. It's not people asking for attention. It's not someone begging for others to feel sorry for them. It's not someone asking for unwanted attention or unwanted affection. It's not a diagnosis made by some doctor somewhere that gives a person an excuse to be miserable, unhappy, angry or upset at the world. It's not something that makes people hate someone or something or everything. It's simply a fact. It ruins people. It makes them into something they don't want to be. It changes them into a person they'd rather not know. But sadly, when people don't bother to ask, don't bother to want to know why it makes the life of a person very difficult. And where I'm at? Nobody knows but me.

People think you can just, "turn it off," and you can just, "get over it," and I'm here to tell you it's not that easy. If it was that easy, I"d have done it 40 years ago. This I promise you.

But the way that feels? In my house? Nobody knows but me.

There are so many things that can be said. You can wear a t-shirt. You can start a website. You can get a discussion going. You can post on social media. But if nobody takes the time to truly ask how you're doing, act like they care, or even pretend they want to be there, it's the worst feeling in the world. And sadly? Where I'm at?

Nobody knows but me.

I would not wish this feeling on anyone. I would not wish it on an enemy, a neighbor, a friend, a cousin, a spouse, a child or anyone else in this world. The feeling is horrible. I rarely share it. I rarely talk about it. I rarely let others know what's going on. Because they don't act like they care. They don't act like they don't want to know. They start asking and then change the sentence. They change the topic. And when the conversation is done? The pain I"m feeling?

Nobody knows but me.