We have all been in a place where confidence is wavering. There is no way to be completely confident all the time, and if you are, some psychologist might say you are masking. Being overly confident, in my opinion, means there are deep rooted insecurities too shameful to admit. I wonder however, why are we so ashamed to have insecurities? You are being lied to if someone tells you they have never felt insecure about anything whether it is their career, income, body part, intelligence or anything else, we all have moments of insecurity. Shouldn’t we know by now that no matter how you may feel about something, you are not alone?

A conversation with a friend of mine prompted me to ask her did she feel insecure about her situation. The look on her face said it all, it was a look that yelled “ Who..me…insecure? No way?

I immediately redirected of course and made her situation seem more common, but I can’t help but to feel as if she thought I would judge her for her feelings. I will be the first to admit my insecurities, but the responses I hear for doing so indicated shame for doing so instead of empathy. I figured showing empathy for someone feeling insecure about someone would be too much like admitting your own insecurities.

Other tactics involve the other person overly explaining the fact they don’t have those problems, like flaunting self-thought of perfect as an ego boost…it may very well be, but wouldn’t it be NICE to just not put on a show? That my friends are part of the shame, this not my advice for “fake it until you make it,” but instead shows a real problem in today’s society.

There is nothing wrong with being insecure, the psychologically healthy thing to do would be to admit it and develop strategies to make improvements. If it is something that can’t be easily mended, this is where putting on your best f*** ‘em face and strutting because you were born this way.

We have all become insecure because of the images we are subliminally being fed. It’s no wonder we want more and better, always remaining in a state of competition with the next. I have dealt with job insecurity, I deal money insecurity, I can’t buy a new car or house like my friends, I’m clumsy (which is why I walk slow and look at the ground).

I have hyperpigmented armpits and fat rolls! Oh, and my thighs rub together (big thigh problems, you know what I mean ladies). I for one have had to mourn my losses in life, but I am also learning how to celebrate my success and accept my place in life. I am not where I want to be, but I am not alone and neither is anyone else. It is self-centered of us to think we are alone in anything, but the only way to open dialogue is to first admit insecurities and then accept with love.