Online dating. Everyone's done it at least once. Even if you haven't, let's be real, you've either downloaded Tinder or have thought about it. When it comes to online dating, everyone has fears. With men, their biggest fear is finding an ugly woman.
Women are more afraid of being killed or worse, raped.
Now this is not me saying that men don't get raped. They do. 1 in 33 men experience sexual assault in their lifetime. However, any female bodied person will tell you that they feel unsafe walking down the street alone or at night. Men scoff at women who go to the bathroom in groups but we go together so no one gets attacked. While men bring condoms to college, women bring rape whistles and mace.
We did this. Society as a whole did this. We teach girls to not get raped instead of teaching boys don't rape. When a boy hits or is mean to a girl on the playground, we say "Oh don't worry about that, that just means he likes you." I have a friend who was stabbed in the arm with a stick by a boy when she was in the fourth grade. It punctured her arm. She went to the teacher and the teacher told her "Its not a big deal. He just has a crush on you." When does that stop being okay. When do we start calling that abuse. High school? College? We say "boys will be boys" when they are rowdy and rambunctious. We teach girls to be quiet; they are better seen than heard. Girls have manners. Boys are uncontrollable. We teach girls to be ashamed of their bodies and boys to love themselves.
Don't leave your drink alone. Don't go to the bathroom alone. Don't go out at night. Don't look him in the eye. Carry your key in such a way you can stab someone. Yell "fire" not "rape." Don't be too nice. Don't be too rude. Don't lead him on. Don't dress too provocatively. These are all lessons I learned before I turned 16 and by then it was too late. I had already been sexually assaulted by my babysitter. I told him no countless times. It did not stop. I knew this man and I trusted him. Mine is not the only case where I was assaulted by someone I knew. In fact 82 percent of rape victims are attacked by someone they know.
In the Rape in America study, it was found that more than half of female rape victims were younger than 18 years old.
29.3 percent were less than 11 years old.
32.3 percent were between 11 and 17.
22.2 percent were between 18 and 24.
7.1 percent were between 25 and 29.
6.1 percent were older than 29.
3.0 percent age was not available.
Women do not owe you anything for being nice to them. You don't get rewards for having common decency. You don't get special treatment because you did the bare minimum. When someone tells you no it means stop. When someone changes their mind it means no.
No means no.
A coerced yes is still a no.
A drunk yes is still a no.
A drugged yes is still a no.
Yes only means yes when given from a sober, coherent mouth.
No means no.
