Nine Of My Favorite "Dadisms"

Nine Of My Favorite "Dadisms"

If you're a college student going to school far from family, odds are you get frequent text messages from your lonely parents who are missing you.

Once you become a college student, conversations with your parents shift from the dinner table to the phone. While I love frequent phone calls and Skype dates, texting with my parents has become much more common. If you’re like me, one parent isn’t big into the whole technology thing, and the other knows almost more than you do. While Mom is still working on the difference between a group message and an individual text, Dad prides himself on his quick one-liners and comebacks. Here are some of my favorite “Dadisms” from this semester so far.

1. “Do you have time to Skype with your lonely parents tonight?”

Here’s one text that I get at least once a week. Sundays have become weekly Skype nights in our family. Odds are if you’re going to college anywhere away from home, your parents regularly ask to see your face. How much can I change in a couple of months? I’m not really sure. But this text comes in a variety of forms throughout the week, and I have to say I do love our (strictly scheduled in) Skype dates.

2. “Important tip – you need to wear an orange OSU shirt tomorrow to the game. Do not be one of those girls who only wears an orange shirt.”

The day before every home game I get a text from my dad telling me what I need to wear to the football game tomorrow. While I appreciate his spirit, his fashion advice is far below par. Skirts and sandals and necklaces mean nothing to him, only that I’m wearing the brightest orange. Valuable advice, yes. Unfortunately, it is almost followed up with a text like this next one.

3. “Uh, that was NOT football game attire. It is your fault they lost.”

Sorry Dad, the skirt and the sandals won over the orange shirt and cowboy boots. Maybe next game, go pokes.

4. “The only study abroad I’ll support is in Boston.”

I frequently bring up all of the plans I have for the next four years and beyond, and most of them don’t require coming home. If you have similarly big plans, odds are your parents aren’t huge on the idea of studying abroad or working here or there for the summer if it means seeing you less. If you’re a daddy’s girl, odds are your dad is even less thrilled as he realizes that he could be seeing his daughter less and less.

5. “Happy National Coffee Day! Wish you were here so I could buy you a cup of coffee. Please drink a cup out of the Dunkin mug for me.”

Your dad knows all of your favorite things. My dad shares the same love and appreciation for coffee as me, or as some might say “addiction” or “reliance”, however you want to say it. I get frequent texts from Dad bragging about the coffee that he’s drinking. We send lots of pictures of our favorite coffee shops to each other and complain about wobbly coffee shop tables and mediocre coffee. Your dad gets it.

6. “Real fans stay for the whole game.”

Dad is proud of all of the sports knowledge he’s imparted unto me over the last eighteen years. He prepared me well to be able to talk about football, but not so much for hours of standing in Oklahoma heat to watch the games. Sometimes the air-conditioned restaurant across the street wins out, especially if we’re losing. Sorry, Dad.

7. “How many naps did you take today?”

Before I left, my Dad told me that I would grow a new appreciation for naps in college. He was right.

8. “It took me a minute to realize who he was. Then I punched him in the face.”

It’s funny to hear about interactions your family has with your high school friends. Dad is still Dad even when you’re away at college with new friends. And like most dads, he’s pretty much anti-boy.

9. “Best purchase I’ve made in a while: your plane ticket home.”

I think it’s safe to say that Dad is pretty excited for me to come home, as am I. As fun as it is going to school far away, you definitely grow a new appreciation for your family. Until then, I guess random texts from Dad will have to do.

So, to college students everywhere, including myself, don’t forget to text your parents now and then. They miss you more than you know.

Cover Image Credit: Hannah Cook

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I haven't written for the Odyssey in quite some time due to this large issue in my life that I feel some people may also need to hear. Watching your parents go through a divorce can be difficult in itself, but what about having to remove one of your parents from your life at the same time? It's something I don't think many people could imagine doing. However, sometimes you are forced into the position between choosing what is best for your mental health or what is expected of you. For me, I realized that I needed to put myself first.

I realized that I am my own person. How I present myself and how I act and what I choose to believe in is how the world perceives me. I was faced with a parent who did not let me be who I am. The way I thought had to be in line with theirs. What I openly spoke about had to be in line with that parent's thoughts. This also, in turn, meant I had to revolve how I was perceived to the world around that parent's family. I had to abide by these societal norms and do what someone else expected of me. I realized that was ludicrous.

This parent was also abusive. They were toxic and manipulative and I could not stand idly by and just take that from them while also trying to become an independent young adult. I was forced to sit and watch one of my parents transform into someone I didn't recognize anymore. I had to watch them ignore any kind of reality checks and continue to feign innocence. I watched one of my parents mentally manipulate people I once called family into believing lies. I kept my head down and shut my mouth and kept taking the abuse. Now I'm at a point where I can confidently say that I am no longer afraid.

I was forced to cut ties with a parent that raised me, cared for me, attended school functions, fixed toys, bought me my first phone. I was forced to chuck out priceless memories for my own sanity. I could not sit idly by and allow myself to endure one more second of lies or abuse. I had to stand up for myself for once in my life and I blocked most of my family. I blocked cousins, aunts, uncles, and godparents. I changed my phone number that I had since 6th grade. I gave no warning and disappeared from my family's lives. Do I have regrets? No. I would do it again if I had to because I am so much stronger than sitting there and taking it.

I will have one less parent at my college graduation, which I am fighting so hard to achieve. I will have one less parent at my wedding. My future children will have one less grandparent. I mope in these thoughts but then I have to remember the other side of things. I will not have an unsupportive parent at my graduation and instead will have those that were there every step of the way. I will lack someone who was toxic at my wedding. My future children will never have to face the same abusive, toxic situations that my parent put me through. It was a difficult decision to make but one that I know in my heart is worthwhile.

Cutting a family member out of your life is difficult enough but cutting a parent is unimaginable. However, no one deserves to go through abusive situations. It shouldn't matter who the person is; if someone is treating you less than you deserve to be treated, they have no use being in your life. You should always be your first priority. You should never have to endure something for the sake of others. I am here to tell you that you are more than that and that cutting out a family member could actually be the best thing for you, even if it's incredibly difficult. I did it and I'm still here. It made me realize who my real family was, and there will never be enough thank you's in the world to show my mother just how much I appreciate her.

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