Your Only New Year's Resolution Should Be To Do What Makes YOU Happy

Your Only New Year's Resolution Should Be To Do What Makes YOU Happy

We always here it, but what does it mean?

We always see quotes that say, "Do more of what makes you happy." Yet, how many times do we just get stuck into doing things we don't want to? I don't mean things like going to work or typing that 5-page essay. Here, I'm talking about being friends with people who are of no benefit to you, focusing too much on the opinions of others, and being less focused on what you actually want to do.

This New Years, start doing what makes you happy. Start saying no when you want to say no. Start saying yes when you want to say yes. Start doing what you truly want to do, start doing what makes YOU happy.

Too often, we don't actually do what we want to do. We say yes to something we don't want to do, we hang out with people we don't want to hang out with, and we do things that are of no benefit to us. Too often, I think it's because we are worried about upsetting others and making others unhappy. It's hard because we want to make others happy; we want to be there for other people and help other people; however, it's very easy to sink into a process of neglecting yourself and focusing too much on other people. This New Years, focus on yourself and do what makes you happy. Stop allowing negative people steal your energy, and stop allowing other people to change your mood and happiness.

I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this, and I'll be the first to say it is very difficult for me to focus on myself sometimes because I truly care so much about other people. I always want to help people, even if it makes me lose sleep or takes up too much time. Even though there is nothing wrong with helping others, sometimes I let myself be too focused on others and their happiness instead of my own.

This year I have decided that I really want to do more of what makes me happy. I want to say no to going to that late night movie if I'm tired. I'm going to say no to hanging out with someone who is of no benefit to me. I'm going to stop being friends with people that aren't worth my time or energy, and I'm going to let go of the people who have let go of me. I'm going to focus on me. I'm going to focus on school, my career, my friends that are worth my time, and the hobbies I enjoy doing.

This year, make 2018 the year you want. Do what makes you happy. Spend alone time when you need it, and spend time with friends when you need it. Let go of the people who have hurt you, and let them be who they want to be. Go out when you want to go out, and stay in when you want to stay in. Do what makes you happy, even if that means letting people go, and making others unhappy. In the end, your happiness is what matters.

Do what makes you happy. Regardless of the opinions and judgments of others, do what makes you happy and live your life the way you want to. You have one life to live, make it count. Make yourself happy.

Cover Image Credit: Amanda McBride

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To The Man Who Catcalled Me

You've probably already forgotten about me, but I can't forget about you.

Dear Asshole,

First of all, screw you.

I don't know you, but you tried talking to me anyway.

You thought you had a right to raise your voice and call to me--as if I'm a dog, as if I should listen when you speak. You don't deserve my attention.

Unfortunately, I heard every word that passed through your lips.

You went out of your way to make me feel small. I pretended not to hear what you said, but I carried it with me the entire way home.

You probably forgot about it, but your words echoed in my ears for hours. Your stupid comment caused me more pain than I'd like to admit.

How dare you take a few seconds of your life to waste hours of mine.

You made me feel dirty in my own skin.

I went home and didn't want to look at myself in the mirror because all I could feel was shame.

I wondered if I could've done something differently to avoid you--wore less makeup, maybe; anything to avoid comments like yours.

It's not me that's the problem, though. It's you. What kind of man behaves the way that you did? Your words were hurtful, whether or not you intended them to be.

You took my self-confidence and my peace of mind away from me in a matter of seconds.

Before you, I felt good.

I wasn't doing anything to deserve your attention--I was just waiting at a traffic light.

It doesn't matter what I was doing, really. You had no reason to call out to me, to speak to me with no regard for my humanity, but you did it anyway.

You've probably already forgotten about me, but I can't forget about you.

The amount of time I've spent thinking about what you said is far more than you deserve.

You don't deserve a letter. You deserve a kick in the balls.

Regardless, this is a message for you, or men like you, who think that catcalling complete strangers is okay.

Attention all assholes:

I am female, but that does not mean that I am fragile.

My body is not yours. It is no one else's. It is mine.

Sexualizing my body is not a compliment.

I am more than a body. I am a person. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover.

I don't deserve to be talked to like a piece of meat.

I am not here for your pleasure.

I am tired of being just a body. Women are tired of being just bodies. We are more than that--we are smart, we are strong, we are worthy of respect.

If you cannot speak to women with respect, you do not deserve to speak at all.

I hope you think about what you said, even for a moment.

I hope you never speak to another woman the way you spoke to me.

I hope you realized something from this experience, like I did.

Because you catcalled me, I remembered my worth.

Sincerely,

A Woman Who's Tired Of This Shit

Cover Image Credit: Nicole Borneman

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I'm Headed Back To The Water

Water Is Home. Just Dive In.

When I was a little girl my grandfather and mama taught me how to swim. I fell in love with the water and frankly, swimming was something I excelled at. They taught me how to swim before I could walk. Once I was a little bit older my parents quickly enrolled me in Red Cross swim lessons at a local pool. By the age of four I was swimming on a summer league team, and by eight, I was swimming competitively year round.

The water is where I feel at home. I’m not clumsy or awkward. I move fluidly with strength and speed. When I’m in the water, the world disappears. I get to be in my own head, working towards a goal while not worrying about my surroundings. So, I’m headed back to the water.

I know I will not be swimming the way I once did. I’m not looking to be a competitive swimmer again. I have no desire to wake up before the crack of dawn to hop in an icy cold pool. I’m going back to the water to find myself again. To find the girl who had a lot more confidence than I currently do. To find the girl who trusted her body to make the right movements and get her to where she needed to be. I’m looking to find the physical strength and endurance I once had that has since been lost.

When in the water, I feel safe because of the confidence I have in my ability, but also because I trust my body. I’ve never been scared that I would drown because I knew my body would get me back to the wall or would automatically bring me to the surface. I don’t place the same trust in my body while on land. I’m much more clumsy; it doesn't matter if I’m walking or running. I’ve fallen down the stairs, up the stairs, and tripped over my own feet.

When I stopped swimming, I lost myself. I think it’s time I find myself again.

Cover Image Credit: Maxwell Gifted on Unsplash

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