I Never Talk To My Grandparents Enough

To the grandparents I never talk to enough, I take you for granted.

For that, I am sorry.

Lately, I've been opened to the fact that a lot of people have lost their grandparents. Obviously this isn't new news to me, however, I've never thought much about my life and how I have three sets of grandparents still in my life.

I am so lucky.

And I take that for granted.

I think in ways I've struggled with my relationship with them; with you Grammy and John, and Grampy and Becky, and Grandma and Papa.

My family and I live 1300 miles away from some of my grandparents and 2600 miles away from the others.

I've always held the excuse of they're too far or I'm too busy to call them my reasoning for lack of communication. And I hate that. I have time. I'm just not using it the right way.

I just need to take a moment to apologize.

To my grandparents, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're always there for me, you're always trying to stay updated about my life, you're always willing to do things for me, and I'm not appreciative of any of it.

I'd like to consider myself a good person in many ways. But in all that good I lack a sense of appreciation. I always say how I'm jealous of families that spend Thanksgiving with their extended families and I can say I am lucky that I still do that, after a plane ride and car drive away.

But I feel unlucky in the sense of I only see some of my grandparents once a year. And others every few years.

Sometimes I think about me getting older and the milestones I've accomplished and how they're not always there for me. Then I have to remind myself that they're getting older too, and I'm not there to be with them.

It's a circle of sadness for myself!

I have to remind myself that at least I'm lucky that they are still in my life, even if they aren't always there.

I'm lucky that they're still a phone call away, a house to call home, a family member to hug. I'm lucky, so lucky that I haven't gone through a significant loss in my life. I don't think I realize how lucky I am to not have that. And still, I find it in me to worry about myself and what I'll be feeling when that time comes. Does that make me selfish?

To the grandparents that have always been there, I'm sorry I haven't given you the recognition you deserve. I just need you to always know that your love and guidance for me has never gone unwarranted.

To the grandparents I don't tell enough, I love you so much. And I'm lucky you're still in my life and interested in all my hopes and dreams. There aren't enough "thank you's" in the world to go around for what you've done for me.

I can only hope that someday when I have a family of my own, and a house of my own, and kids of my own, that your stories and your faces will continue to carry on.

To the grandparents I never talk to enough, I take you for granted.

But your love, gratitude, and gift of kindness to me is never one that is.

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