One of the first things I had to learn setting foot into my industry is to network and make connections. I’ve seen the good and the bad sides of networking. The good side involves the talented, successful and experienced individuals I've had the pleasure to build connections with, work with and learn from. The bad side is whether anything goes beyond the surface and getting exposure. This also includes rising in “following count” that now has a heavy meaning in the age of social media. The bad side also deals with going beyond the worst -- competition.
I find the fine line between a network versus a friend by when sitting down with them to have coffee or a meal. Sure, I enjoy sharing insiders, talking about collaborations and seeing who you are inspired by on Instagram. Sometimes, conversation topics never go another route besides sharing words career-wise. I’ve heard about people's goals of wanting to reach a certain number of followers by a certain time. I’ve seen people constantly scrolling down their feeds just across the table from me. I never found that endearing. What hurts me even more is when I see peers I thought were friends all of a sudden become competitive. They become judgmental rather than offer constructive criticisms or turn their backs on friends for other “friends” with higher influences or social media engagements.
Do your friendships happen because you're in the same industry and sharing the same passions? Not necessarily. I can’t say that my definition of a real friend applies to everyone. The dearest people in my life, maybe no more than five, actually chase after different passions than I do. These people are the ones I can always share my successes and failures with, big or small, and still know that they would be proud of me no matter what. They also keep my mindset straight. I can sit across the table in a restaurant for hours, not check my phone even once and we touch base on topics of friendships, relationships, careers and hobbies. When I reach my lowest lows these people still remind me of my highest highs.
However, I should start finding comfort in not labeling anymore. We all need the best sides of both networks and friends. But there is a boundary between career and life. Luckily, the possibility of having in-betweens is still high. I am positive I can relate to my fellow fashion bloggers, photographers and influencers beyond what we do. Who out there in the industry loves the NBA? Perhaps it's unexpected, but I’ve been a fan for eight years and love to discuss the game. Let’s grab lunch and perhaps talk about that too.
