Negativity And The Path To Happiness: Why Success Is A Breeding Zone For Negativity

Negativity And The Path To Happiness: Why Success Is A Breeding Zone For Negativity

An explanation as to why people get mean when you begin to succeed.

There comes a point in time when we as individuals yearn to become more than what we are. We daydream of these rich lands with money raining from the sky, a big old house to call home, and our passion coming to fruition. These “rich lands” are fertilized by the very things that bring us joy, our individual likes and loves. The “money raining from the sky” is what will allow us to live comfortably without continuous worry. Our passion, what we put our heart and soul into, what we dedicate our lives to, that is what we all dream of bringing us prosperity and success. We desperately want out passions to be the sole cause of our success so that way we can thrive in happiness. For a lot of people, happiness is at the center of their day dreams and goals for their life. Without happiness, without laughter, without joy, without smiling, and without a few good people by your side there is no point. When positivity is not flourishing alongside you, there is absolutely no point in striving, sacrificing, or dedicating everything you have to a venture.

One would think that this road to success is paved with golden bricks of happiness and that the footprints of our golden friends would show up by our side. This is not the case though, in fact, once we reach for success and begin to put in the work, we hear snide remarks, see disgusted looks, are subjected to curt responses, and worst of all the gold on our “friends” begins to rust away rapidly; leaving behind remnants of their shimmer and shine on the floor only to be blown away by the wind.

But why? Why does this happen? Why is it that our closest and truest friends unleash this negativity on us when we begin to see successful results in ourselves? Why is it that negativity manifests itself the most in the places that we always felt positivity?

These are loaded questions with various explanations. My opinion is probably the one that is most commonly shared by people. My afterthoughts, however, may be relatively new to people.

First of all, success is a long and sometimes painful process. A lot of us go on this journey without knowing how people will react along the way, how attitudes can change, how we meet new people, and just how pivotal of a step it is in our lives. We often underestimate the journey along the way, thinking it will not change anything, or anyone, or even affect our lives. We always seem to think that the actual moment of receiving that success is what changes our world. This is not the case. You see, what happens is that the journey to success is paved with nothing but lessons that are meant to prepare us for what will be coming up. These lessons vary from person to person, it is all based on what we have yet to learn. This happens though, because before we can really experience this success we have to go through events that will ensure our appreciation and gratitude for that success.

If we find success without bringing along appreciation, then what is the point? We’d simply take it for granted and that is not the point of success and happiness. We can not obtain success and happiness without enduring negativity, in fact, that is why negativity exists. Negativity is alive and breathing because it has a purpose, it’s purpose is to condition us for the all good that is about to come in our lives. Negativity has to make room inside of us, this is often referred to as a “void” or a “gap” for some time.

This is what we tend to try to fill up, yet no matter how much effort we put in, we never seem to be able to fill this void. The void is like an abyss: everything we fill it with becomes unimportant, it frightens us when we begin to look in, and sometimes we become lost in it. We try to fill this gap the best we can, but never really do until we decide to go on our journey of happiness.

This is where the journey comes in, the journey to happiness. Happiness is an interesting little thing, to achieve full happiness within ourselves requires a dedication to ourselves. Jack Kerouac once said,

“So therefore I dedicate myself to myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labors, my suffrances, my loneliness, my unique madness, my endless absorption and hunger because I cannot dedicate myself to any fellow being.”

This quote sums up a lot more than what one would think. It implies that when we focus on others, when we care about what others say, when our lives revolve around people, we cannot be happy. I take this quote a step further and argue the point that we are enablers of negativity if we choose to practice the previously stated things. If we begin to dedicate ourselves to our dreams and passions we will be truly happy, the more we fight that urge to take that first step toward our dreams, the more we oppress ourselves and breed negativity inside of us, a.k.a internal negativity. Once we begin to step forth, toward that dream, we can begin on the road to happiness.

So, we begin our trek, how does that affect the people around us? Aren’t our friends going to remain the same? Here is what happens once you become happy. Some people around you may seem nonchalant toward you. Some may seem more stand-offish. Some may be blunt and be outright rude toward you. Very few will become genuinely happy and excited for you. This will create external negativity. External Negativity is when the negativity is bred outside of yourself, it is due to others attitudes and is not directly caused by you. Let me reiterate, you are not the cause of their negativity, it is due to their own flourishing internal negativity. Their internal negativity is caused by their insecurities finally gaining strength. They will gain strength when the individual witnesses another person beginning to grasp something that they do not have. Most of the time, it is genuine happiness.

If you’ve ever noticed anyone in school or the workplace constantly being talked about despite their happy disposition and kindness, this is the reason. Some people breed internal negativity due to someone else’s positivity simply because they cannot understand how to attain it. They don’t understand why it isn't happening to them and why the other person gets to experience it, this in turn inflates one's insecurities. Once insecurities inflate, egos become more apt to bruise. They bruise because of the common defense mechanism of super-inflating the ego when feeling weak. Of course this has only one outcome: it pops like a balloon. The individual will have outbursts of negativity, lash out, and explode at the other individual who is on the journey. To the individual on the journey it seems completely out of character and shocking. We can’t understand what the actual issue is and so we take these remarks, looks, negative treatment to heart. This makes us want to give up and throw in the towel. If we don’t have our “friends” then why go on?

Well, here’s what happens afterward. When we lose people in our lives, we tend to meet new people we never thought we’d get along with. Generally we meet these people in the overlap period. This is referring to when your current friend(s) are about to exit your life and shortly before they do, you meet the new people (new friends) who will have a significant impact on you. These people tend to show you things you always needed to learn about whatever issues you always seemed to struggle with. Whether it be a point of view, a much needed reality check, or just a good old life lesson about the how the social sphere of human beings works. Eventually, these people surround you more and more; they show you a better, more genuine, and stronger connection than the previous people or person that was in your life ever could. This strength only aids you in your journey to happiness, allowing you to acquire a new found internal strength through the lessons you have been able to learn.

This leads to the second part of why people try to bring you down, or seem more negative than before toward you. With your new found knowledge comes wisdom and personal growth. In short: Maturity. You enter the next phase in your journey where you are now completely focused on your dreams and yourself. Let me interject myself here and assert that this does not mean you are selfish at all. This is no way means you are a self-centered individual. There is no shame in down-sizing your circle of friends, focusing more on your goals, and becoming a better person. This phase in your journey to happiness is where you find who you really are, and most importantly who you want to be. In this phase, you learn about what is really important to you, who makes you happy and why, and your communication style changes. Maturity plays a big factor in your happiness because as soon as you understand there is more to life than petty issues, and people’s overall tendency to be petty in general, you really don’t care about the small things. You are now more focused on what really matters. This is a huge reason why people tend to be mean to you on your journey: you don’t give into their drama baits. Doing this sends a clear message to the other party that you have risen above being hurt by non-essential things and in fact used their negativity to drive you to succeed.

One of the last things I’d like to point out here is that conversion. The conversion of someone’s negativity into your own fuel for success. A lot of people sometimes don’t know what to do with all of these negative remarks. A lot of people shut down, go somewhere else, or give up on their journey. What they need to know is the conversion method. It is absolutely essential to your success on your journey because not only is it redirecting your line of thinking and emotions, but it is changing that external negativity into positivity. It reduces your stress, anxiety, and prohibits you from breeding your own internal negativity.

Now that you’ve done this, you have reached your success! Whether it be getting a new PR in the gym, scoring that new job you wanted, writing that book you’ve been dreaming of, buying that house with a white picket fence, or whatever your heart desires. This journey has led you through ups, downs, losses, and gains, but you have come out as the person you always wanted to be who is wiser, stronger, and happier. By now, the people who were rude to you shouldn’t be on your radar because you now know how to fill your life with positivity, instead of negativity.

This is the journey of happiness and success, it is not paved with gold, but as you go on your trek, you find diamonds now pave your road. In their reflection you see a smile that touches your eyes and you think, “wow...this is happiness”.

Cover Image Credit: tumblr

Popular Right Now

America Doesn't Have A Gun Problem, We Have A Parenting Problem

Making an impression on your child at a young age of the dangers of guns can be a huge difference in having a future mass shooter, or a law abiding gun owner.

Let me start this off by saying, taking away guns from people is probably the most ridiculous idea.

Second of all, I would like to make a point that raising the age of buying a rifle to 21 is even worse, and would only cause more problems, as well as not aiding in accomplishing your goal of ridding the country of mass shootings. Now that I have established my two cents on what everyone has been talking about referring to gun control ideas, let me give you a disclaimer:

This article may piss a few people off, and that's OK.

However, it's important to understand this is only an opinion based article. I'm not going to throw at you anything resembling statistics, facts, or citations. Why? Because that's not a pleasure to read, and I don't want to have them thrown back at me. Please understand that if you want to argue with me, feel free to. I probably won't make an effort to respond, nor will I try to read it, because it's completely OK to have different perspectives on certain subjects. But by all means, go ahead and try. You're only wasting your time arguing over a subjective article.

(I'm mainly talking to the liberals in particular that have been proudly displaying their ideologies all over my social media platforms without having ever picked up a firearm in their lives, while acting like they know everything about any firearm ever made because they once deduced that AR in AR-15 meant "Assault Rifle.")

Which it doesn't...

Look it up...

The problem America is having with guns is that kids will learn the power a firearm contains through video games. The gore isn’t the problem. It’s the constant repetitive shootings in movies, video games, TV shows, and newspaper articles that all kids are being exposed to without actually going through proper safety training and having someone of an authoritative figure in their lives tell them that it’s not safe to point a gun at anyone while they’re at their spongey brained age of 5 or 6.

Growing up in Northwestern Minnesota right on the border of North Dakota, hunting, fishing, trapping, and camping were some of my favorite things to do while growing up. I shot my first rifle at the age of 6. My dad handed me a .22 and told me to go shoot at a license plate. I shot at targets for a year and I eventually made my way up to hunting rodents that would cause problems on my Grandmother's land.

The first living creature I ever shot was a red squirrel. Fun anecdote right? Most midwesterners know the problems that come with them. One day, my dad took me to find a nest. I found one lone squirrel. At the age of 7, I took my first life. That was the reason why I will never take a human beings life as long as I live unless it’s in defense of my home, my loved ones, or my country.

I had witnessed what a small caliber rifle can do, first hand. The squirrel no longer looked like a squirrel. My dad had me pick the rodent up, and carry him to our burn pile where I discarded the corpse. I will always remember that moment.

In that moment, I learned what death was.

Since then I've hunted big game, and still to this day, I still feel some remorse for taking any animals life. Do I have fun while I hunt? Yes. But that remorse is the difference between being a bloodthirsty monster, and a law-abiding hunter that loves the taste of venison.

That’s the difference between responsible gun owners and those who buy firearms with the sole purpose to take as many lives as they possibly can in a small amount of time. The AR-15 doesn’t need to be the one that’s getting chastised. Most AR-15’s are owned by responsible gun owners, who have taken a course or two in firearm safety, or had authoritative figures teach them about firearms and the power they have behind them while they were young and it made an impression on them.

I, for one, had taken hunters safety at a very young age. They teach you how to properly and safely operate a firearm of any kind, and what can happen if you don’t. It teaches you a perspective. It teaches you right from wrong. When handling any weapon. They're not a toy.

They end lives if they're in the wrong hands.

These people that are buying firearms in order to go after human lives weren’t taught these common midwestern lessons that I learned at a young age. The Florida teen high school shooter practiced in his backyard shooting targets. But if you watch closely, you can tell his inexperience is quite conspicuous.

A lot of people have seen those posts on Facebook or Twitter saying that millennials are the problem. The generations before us used to bring guns to school and stow them away in their vehicles or lockers or shoot them at recess. This actually proves an interesting point.

Those generations were taught at a young age the right from wrong with firearms.

Those generations had parents that sat their kids down, taught them how to shoot, how to hunt, what to shoot, what not to shoot, and what actually happens if you shoot something you’re not supposed to.

Guns have changed since 1776, but the real problem is the people, and the way we raise them today. People no longer take part in the simple pleasures of trap shooting, target shooting, or hunting. People are distracted by violent video games, dangerous behaviors in movies and TV shows, and whatever devastating news comes over the social media feeds.

Do everyone a favor, teach your kids the importance of gun safety before they take on the teachings of modern entertainment outlets.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Blank Slate, And It's Okay

Original poetry for when your thoughts don't seem to align or fill up space.

This poem came to me during a time when I felt so overwhelmed with my thoughts. In these thoughts, I found doubt and uncertainty about what I wanted for the future. I had to remind myself that it's okay to not have the answers, to have this blank slate of sorts. However, I know that a permanent blank slate stunts the growth for dreams. I was aware that my slate had to be filled. This is to the dreamers who have blank slates: it's okay to fill them now.

You think too often or you think too much

It may seem as if your thoughts come out in a rush

But it’s ok to have a blank slate

Maybe it’s a thought that was once dominant,

It ruled the world of yours and all in it

And then, too swiftly, it became unimportant

A blank slate

Or maybe it was shifted out with a different thought,

The later, having filled more space

Created more color or meaning

It’s okay to have a blank slate

To not want to add anything else to your mental pallet

But please, be aware for a blank slate could become permanent,

An unending maze of never being able to fill in the space

A winding road of nothing and pieces of unknown

No color to call ‘mine’ and meaning that says ‘none’

Above all else, don’t allow a blank slate to be the work of someone else

For it belongs to you

Too many try to erase space or create space in thoughts that don’t involve them

Thoughts that maybe were once about them

Thoughts that maybe they once occupied

But a blank slate should be created by you and for you

Ruled by you

Filled by you

Conquered by you

So, a blank slate is ok

But don’t let it stay that way

Your mind belongs to you

Your thoughts belong to you

Even in our moments of uncertainty

Even in our hours of sadness and anger

It is your space to fill or erase

Maybe it seems strange to some

And the stares are sure to ensue

Maybe it angers others

And they feel you are uncaring or unkind

But it is this blank slate in which you can

Think freely or escape freely

Whatever you decide, please remember

That a blank slate should not keep you confined

It should not keep you blank

It should calm you within the moment

And provide a safe space for you and only you

So, be careful, be aware

That a blank slate for too long can keep you chained

To never return again

Keep a blank slate

But don’t let it stay that way

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

Related Content

Facebook Comments