One of the things I remember being told most as a child was that nobody likes a braggart. Nobody likes a person so caught up in their own success they forget about everybody else’s. The first thing I can remember ever getting anxiety over was whether I was too conceited; whether I shouldn’t have disclosed my latest perfect math score, or mentioned the praise my favorite teacher had given me. I didn’t want to be “that kid," the one like Greek mythology’s Narcissus who fell so in love with his own reflection he disregarded and angered those around him. I wanted people to like me, but telling others of my accomplishments always seemed to lead to others feeling bad about theirs. My mind took that thought and started associating all those A’s and those praises and everything else positive about me with this idea of conceit; I believed that even mentioning my own accomplishments would make everyone else feel bad about themselves and start to hate me for it. I stopped talking about my own accomplishments altogether, putting away papers before anyone could see what I got and hesitating before I ever recalled my own gains. I didn’t realize that simply being good and knowing it didn’t make me self-obsessed.

I am not the only kid who grew up to tell stories along a similar vein. I am not the only overachieving child to feel ashamed of being better. To this day despite all of the things I have done, I am incredibly hesitant to speak of them. Since I realized this problem of mine a couple years ago, I have been working to find pride in my own accomplishments. I try to say that yes, I did this, and yes, I know that it was hard and I should feel proud of it. I swallow my hesitation to speak and recognize myself for my successes instead of waiting for others to do so. And without fail, every time, I have always been brought down. Whether it be a disapproving sideways glance or a bold statement of disgust at my own self-pride, I have found that in this society, we are not supposed to recognize our own accomplishments. It is expected that we allow others to express pride, to make us feel smart. We are not allowed to know this for ourselves. Even writing this article has me cringing in my seat, forcing my fingers away from the backspace button so I cannot remove my own inappropriate statements about something as simple as loving the things you have done. I can already hear the comments about how horrible I must be for "tooting my own horn."

But despite the potential for negative reactions, I still believe that it is so incredibly toxic to be told not to appreciate yourself. Acknowledging that you have done something impressive or worked hard or gotten a good grade is not conceit; it is an expression of the truth. You worked hard for your achievements, and you should be allowed to pat yourself on the back. Yet instead, people insist on quieting you, making you feel bad for stating the truth about what you have done. It is incredibly hard to succeed in this world already, and I do not believe we should be looked down on for being our own cheerleader. We should not have to rely on other people to validate us; the only person we will always have by our sides is ourselves, so why can we not love our successes alongside everyone else? Why are people so offended when you know your own worth?

We are not Narcissus. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself, appreciating yourself, having confidence in your own abilities. We are not obsessed with our own reflections; we are finding pride in them. We are looking in the mirror and reminding ourselves why we like what we see. Loving ourselves does not harm anyone, but hating ourselves out of fear of conceitedness does. We are all such amazing people, and that should never be downplayed, not by anyone. The statement "Do unto others and you would have them do unto you" works both ways around; if you would congratulate a friend for doing something, then there is no reason why you should not congratulate yourself for doing the same.