Living in a small town, everything made it into the newspaper: births, deaths, weddings, anniversaries, sports events, and police reports, to name a few. We all looked forward to getting the newspaper and catching up on what had been happening in the community. Every semester of school, they would release the honor roll students' names and put them in the paper. My nana loved seeing my name in the paper. She loved to brag on me. "Did you see Savanna's name in the paper? Oh, we're so proud of her!" This made a positive impact on me for many years, but as time went on, I would see that the long term effect was a negative one.

I started to put more pressure on myself in school. Not only did I have to make sure to not disappoint my momma or nana, but now I had to make sure to not disappoint the people in my town. I had to make sure to never fail or stumble because the whole town would know, and how embarrassing would that be? They noticed if your name wasn't in the paper for having all A's that year or for the A/B Honor Roll. They noticed, and they would ask you about it. I felt this pressure all through high school and managed to make it out unscathed. I thought I was released from the pressure and anxiety that this educational publicity caused.

Boy, was I wrong.

I get to college. My freshman year was great. My classes were simple, and, for the most part, they were refresher courses for me. I made the President's List both semesters of my freshman year. I was proud of myself. I made it through with flying colors. After I got back home for the summer, people started congratulating me.

"I am so proud of you!"

"You are so smart!"

"You did so good this year, just like we all knew you would!"

"I saw your name in the paper again! I was looking for it. I knew it would be there."

In an instant, the pressure and anxiety were back. I was not prepared for this. I did not know that the President's List and Dean's List of my school would also be published in the papers; however, I smiled and thanked them for their kind words.

August came back around. I started my classes. These classes were a bit harder than the previous year's classes, but I thought I could handle it. I was confident until I started to struggle, and that same little voice inside my head from high school reminded me that a lot of people would know if I failed or stumbled and how embarrassing that would be. I didn't make it onto the President's List or Dean's List that year. I even failed my Calculus class. I tried to avoid people back home that might notice I wasn't on the lists.I tried to avoid conversations about school and my classes, and I kept the conversations I couldn't avoid as short as possible.

Junior year arrived. My classes were the hardest ones I had taken. I struggled more than I had ever struggled in a class before. Organic Chemistry I became my arch nemesis. I barely made it through the semester, but I survived. Surely that was an accomplishment too, right?

January rolled around, and I started the last semester of my junior year. This semester couldn't be any worse than last semester, could it? I was wrong again. Organic Chemistry II was my new arch nemesis. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get ahead. I was losing. The end of the semester neared. My wants changed. At first, I wanted nothing more than to pass with flying colors, like I did my freshman year. After I realized the toll that everything was taking on me mentally, physically, and emotionally, I just wanted to pass the class. I had never wanted the D so bad in my life. I just wanted to be done with Organic Chemistry.

I didn't realize it at the time, but that was a huge step for me. I no longer depended on what everyone else thought of me for confirmation of my worth. My grades no longer defined me. My name being on a list no longer defined me. I didn't give up. I survived a class that made me rethink every decision I had made in my life up to that point. I survived a class that made me absolutely miserable. I survived a class that many don't.

I wish I could go back and tell high school me what I had learned. Your grades don't define your worth. Failing one class doesn't mean you have failed at life. What matters is what you do after you stumble. Do you pick yourself up and keep trying, or do you lay there and hope no one sees you? I promise you that it will always be worth it in the end.

Two pieces of advice:

1. Have a strong support system. Have positive, encouraging people around you to help you when you feel down or when you fall. My support system system was there for me anytime I needed them for anything. My mom, Lisa; my best friend, Shelby; and my academics counselor, Andrea, have been the best support system I could ask for.

2. Tell people you are proud of them. Compliment them. Celebrate their accomplishments. You must also let them know that it is okay to struggle. It is okay to fail, and if they fail, you will still be proud of them for getting back up because that is an accomplishment too.