Everyone has days when they look in the mirror and hate the way they look, even after they have put on make up. Everyone has days when they put on clothing and feel fat, even though they aren’t. Everyone has days when they just don’t feel good about themselves. Whether this has been fostered through the subconscious message that mainstream media sends of a singular kind of beauty or whether it is due to all the mean girls out there, I cannot say for certain. However, I do know that each and every human on this planet has value and is beautiful in their own extraordinarily unique way. Let me tell you how I came to discover this.
In high school, I was surrounded by amazing friends who were athletes, artists, introverts, nerds, extroverts, gay, straight, conservative, liberal, etc. They were all kinds of people, and they were each interesting in their own way. I started to look at the people around me in a different light. Then I started to apply this idea to new people I encountered. I asked myself, what drew me to this person? I wonder if they see themselves the way I see them?
The answer to that last question is a huge resounding "no." They would all make self-deprecating remarks for, what seemed to me like, no reason. Leon Brown said it best, “You are your own worst enemy. It is your negative thoughts that hold you back, nothing else.” More often then not, it is hard for people to look past their flaws and realize that they are a beautiful human being and special and worthy in one way or another. You would never treat your best friend the cruel way you are willing to treat yourself. We all tear ourselves down for no reason and it has to stop.
It is time to stop being your own biggest critic and to start being your own biggest fan.
The only thing you have to do to override the knee-jerk reaction of self-criticism is one simple thing—compliment yourself. Self-confidence is rooted in self-love. Pick one thing about yourself that you absolutely love. Not something that you want to change but something you are proud of. You do not have to love everything about yourself right now, or ever, but if you remind yourself about one thing you love about yourself, it is the biggest confidence booster.
If you can’t think of something right now, that’s OK. Think about what makes you feel the best when someone compliments you on it. Is it your smile? Is it your hair? Is it your posture? Could it be your eyes? Or the way they twinkle when you smile? It might be your brutal honesty or your intelligence. Honestly, it could even be your sarcasm. Pick something that reminds you that you are incredible and makes you feel like the dime you are on any given day.
For me, the one thing I love the most about myself is my butt. I know that might sound weird, but it's true. I have been an athlete my entire life, so I have always been really strong. After six years of volleyball, jumping and squatting continuously, I think I have a very nice butt. Each time I look in the mirror and have one of those days when I am just not thrilled about the way I look or hate the clothes I have on, I turn to the side and look at my butt. It is my own personal reminder that I am strong, and every time I orient myself to that fact, my mood is immediately lifted.
For my sister, it is her exceptional brain and her long blond hair. For my friend, Lauryn, it is her legs. For my friend, Alisa, it is her eyes. For my friend, Katie, it is her musical ear. For my friend, Syd, it is her unwavering individualism. It can be anything you want it to be; that’s the beauty of my theory. Whatever the one thing is you pick, make sure you absolutely own it, because the key to self-confidence is to champion yourself by becoming your own biggest fan.
