I may be late to the party on this one, but that is not going to stop me from writing this. Logic's suicide hotline song blew up in the last couple of weeks, and I would be lying if I said I haven’t been listening to it on repeat. I’m sure that I am not the only person that finds this song is one of the most relatable and real songs I have ever heard. If for some reason you have not heard this song yet, here’s a link:

Do yourself a favor and listen asap.

Time to get real for a second. I had a personal battle with depression a couple of years ago, and every once and awhile it comes back like it never left. For people who have experienced a dark place like I did, they understand that it never really leaves.

For me, the slightest stress could set me off and make me feel like I’m just a young teenager laying in his backyard crying again. I have days where I’m on top of the world and then the next I’ll barely be able to pull myself out of bed. It’s hard to explain exactly how it feels when I go through these moods, but I assure you it is not pretty. I’m seriously like a different person when it happens, and if I’m being honest, it terrifies me because I’m prone to snap on someone I care about when I’m like that.

The fact that I seemingly shift into a different person when I get in that mood is an awful feeling. What’s even worse? When I’m not even angry at my frustrations, but when I’m heartbroken at how sad I am. This happens more often than the whole angry split personality thing. I go through stages of extreme sadness that I can’t control.

When these moments happen, I feel completely alone and my mind basically convinces myself that I have no one and no one cares about me. The nights that I experience this are no fun, and I have had more of them than I would like to admit.

With all this being said, saying Logic's song hits home for me is an understatement. The first time I heard it, it basically broke my heart. It reminded me how many people feel the way I do, and even worse, how many people feel WORSE than I do.

I could sit here for hours and explain how every lyric touches me, but I think I will save some time and just touch on a few.

“I feel like I'm out of my mind, It feel like my life ain't mine.” The whole lack of self-control I have when I get into my moods is why this is so important to me. It’s like an out of body experience because while I still see from myself, I feel like I can’t actually do anything.

Another reason this line is so impactful is because sometimes, my life really doesn’t feel like my own. Everything feels out of my control. I even question why I’m even still in school sometimes. I absolutely hated school pre-college, yet here I am and I don’t even know why. It’s hard to feel like you are in control when nothing goes your way.

“Ain't nobody callin' my phone Where you been? Where you at? What's on your mind? They say every life precious, but nobody care about mine.” This one really hits home. I don’t want to be calling out specific people, but you know who you are. Not even a how you are doing text or a check in that I’m still breathing. It’s like the moment I left for college you let me go and didn’t even make an effort to keep me around.

And then you go and have the audacity to trash me behind my back for my own life choices. If you actually cared about me you would have kept me around and supported me for what I would end up doing. As much as I hoped I was lying to myself and you all actually still cared, this summer unfortunately proved me right. I’ve learned that some people do care about my life, but there are still some that won’t.

And of course, Khalid’s last section is heart shattering and phenomenal at the same time. After enduring for so long, no one wants to cry anymore. No one wants to die anymore. You want to reclaim happiness. You want to be able to breath. You want to be alive. Remember, nothing is more important than your own happiness.