I feel like the definition of forgiving is not universal and is different from person to person. For others forgiving might be saying sorry, talking out what has happened, and continuing the relationship like nothing ever happened. On the other hand, many people don't believe in the concept of forgiving and can’t get themselves to that stage. I, on the other hand, am in between. I feel like forgiving someone for something they have done to you, no matter what it is, is something big. Forgiveness is something that has to be earned, and not just handed out.

My definition of Forgiveness is not the typically “I'm Sorry” type of conversation you would normally think of. It doesn't involve tears, sadness, hate and everything in between. All it really involves is acceptance, growth, and personally learning from my mistakes. I first start by accepting the situation that has unfolded and everything that has happened. I accept that it is in the past and there is really nothing I can do to change or to stop what has already happened. I grow. I grow stronger, more independent, and unfortunately, my walls get thicker. I learn. I learn that if you think everyone has the same heart and values that you do, you will get hurt. If you trust and treat people the same way you would want to be treated, sometimes the favor is not returned. I learn that sometimes the worse situation can bring you to the best destination. I learn that having people hurt you is just a part of life, and to be very particular of who you let in.

My definition of forgiveness is in some ways selfish. I don't say sorry, I don't cry, I don't “hug it out”. I learn to personally forgive and let go. I believe that forgiveness should be selfish. And most importantly, to never become the person who hurt you.

Whenever someone or some situation hurts me, I don't personally take it lightly. Whenever I involve myself in a relationship with someone from friends to significant others I give it my all. That person has all my trust, loyalty, respect, love and anything else they would need. When that =bond is taken advantage of and broken, there really is no easy way to fix it.

My advice from past experiences would be to take into consideration everyone you let in your life and trust. Make sure that you keep your circle filled with people who want the best for you and for you to succeed in every aspect of your life. Make sure that they are constantly guiding you on the right path, and making you a better person each step of the way. Surround yourself with people who believe in the concept of “tough love” and tell you their straight out opinion on things in your life. Although sometimes it might hurt, it's the best way to grow, check yourself, and, in the end, you know that the people in your life are just looking out for you.

Forgiving people who have hurt you and caused damage in your life is hard. But ultimately it is the best way to let go and move on.