I was recently talking to my boyfriend's adorable little sister that's about to go into seventh grade and I got to thinking, there is so much I wish she could know about the times she is about to go through. I wish I could prepare her and protect her from the times ahead, but as many kids go into school, they will be facing many new hardships. Junior high is such a whirlwind of a time. Remembering my own days of being that age, I look back to not only my blue eye shadow and heavily edited selfies, but to the days of heavy self-doubt, desperately trying to fit in, and a lot of new dynamics. As times progress, I can only imagine what kids at this age must be going through. Now more than ever, there are some important lessons I want these kids to know.
Being you is enough...
Our parents always told us to be ourselves, but like so many other kids I was constantly comparing myself to the people around me. " I wish I had her hair." " Her clothes look so cute on her, I could never pull that off." All that time I spent wasting worrying about others when I didn't see the beauty of my own self. We often want to fit in so bad that we brush off the beautiful things that make us unique. We are each designed with amazing things to offer the world. What you have to offer is so special. The right people will come along to enhance this.
No one is going to remember your name brand clothing...
When I was 13, every girl wanted name brand jeans, Ugg boots, and pin straight hair. At the time I didn't understand that spending so much on clothes was utterly ridiculous, because I wanted nothing more than to fit in (but trust me, when it's your own money being spent on these clothes, they suddenly become less appealing.) What I didn't understand then was that you remember how people make you feel. Did you enjoy hanging out with them? Were they kind or mean? I can't remember if Sally So-and-So had brand new dark wash Hollister jeans, but I can still clearly remember how it felt the first time she made fun of and excluded me. Focus on who you are, not what you wear.
Be kind, everyone is going through something...
Growing up can be cruel. Being in junior high as a girl was especially tough at times. I had never experienced the cattiness and harsh dynamic that was suddenly my life. I didn't always take the high road. If someone talked about me or was rude to me, I immediately thought the worst of them and didn't take a closer look. Growing up is different for everyone. I wish at the time I would have been kinder to those who hurt me. At all ages, everyone is fighting their own battles and some lash out to receive attention. Simply turning the other cheek and reaching out to someone could make the world of difference. Now I'm not saying it's okay for people to be mean, but there may be more there than meets the eye. A little kindness can go a long way.
It's okay to walk alone...
We all want to fit in, have a big group of friends, and be popular. But at what cost? Many times, I myself included at times, people have put up with horrible treatment just to say they have friends and fit in. Trust me when I say this, it is okay to follow your own beat. If you don't like the way you're treated, walk away. There are good people out there and you will find them. Don't be discouraged. It is better to walk alone than to allow yourself to be walked on and demeaned. This is a scary time, but in the end, you will be better off for sticking true to yourself and doing your best.
Our younger years are scary, mean, and can downright suck. But if we stay true to ourselves, we can survive this time and make it count. Go with your gut. Follow your heart. Be braver than I was. Always remember that you are worthy of the best life has to offer. You are so capable. Remember that I, a now 19-year-old college student, have been where you are right now, and know that it's hard. Just know, I believe in you.
