Throughout life we are constantly going to be put into situations that require us to forgive another person, but sometimes we feel that we have been so wronged by someone that there is no way that we can forgive them.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
It doesn’t matter how mad, bitter or hurt we are. We must find it in our hearts to forgive. If we can’t find it in our hearts to forgive someone that sins against us, how can we expect our perfect and sinless Father to find it in His heart to forgive us for sinning against Him?
Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
To make forgiving someone even harder, sometimes you have to forgive someone that has wronged you even when they haven’t admitted to their wrongdoings and apologized. But guess what, you forgave them and now God can forgive you. As long as you are right with God, the best you can do at that point is pray for them and their relationship with Him.
I also believe that forgiving someone doesn’t always mean you have to continue to have a relationship with that person. Although I am a firm believer in second chances, if a person continues to cause you nothing but bitterness, anger and hurt, sometimes it’s better to forgive and walk away.
But never stop praying for that person. Pray for them when they didn’t apologize, and pray for them when they did. Pray for them when they are a part of your life, and pray for them when they aren’t.
Luke 6:28 says, “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
Now I’ll be the first to admit that I need to take my own advice. For the past three years I have had a constant internal battle with staying angry at someone who was once very close to me, or forgiving them even when they never apologized or admitted to their wrongdoing. There were several times when I thought that I had forgiven them, but then they would hurt me again, and new anger, bitterness and hurt along with all the old anger, bitterness and hurt would arise. Then I would have to start the process of finding, deep down in my heart, the will to forgive them again.
It’s been a long and hard battle to forgive this person. Eventually I had to walk away. I had to stop giving them the power to cause me grief, make me bitter to the world and cause me more hurt and anger. But as time has gone on and I have looked at the situation in a more positive light, I have finally been able to forgive them.
Now I can thank this person.
I can thank them for making me, stronger, wiser, kinder, more loving, more independent, more reliable and more courageous. Without them, I would not have been blessed with the amazing people in my life whom I get to call family, even if I am not blood related to all of them. Without them, I wouldn’t have the amazing relationship with God that I have. Without them, I wouldn’t know my worth. Without them, I would not be the woman I am today.
So if that person happens to read this one day, thank you.
