I Made A List Of All The Guys I've "Dated" And Here Is What It Made Me Realize
Start writing a post
Swoon

I Made A List Of All The Guys I've "Dated" And Here Is What It Made Me Realize

1750
I Made A List Of All The Guys I've "Dated" And Here Is What It Made Me Realize
Unsplash

I don’t know how to date, and I suck at it.

It’s not that I choose the wrong guys, and it's also not because of the unspoken set of bullshit "dating rules" that I don't understand. Something has always just been missing.

Looking back on all the guys I've dated, I realized that it’s hard for me to completely give myself emotionally or physically to someone that’s not committed to me. It’s rare and difficult for me to do that even a little, because I'm someone who wants to give my absolute all to someone or nothing at all.

That mentality has resulted in me seeming "cold" or that I'm "playing games," when in reality, I was just confused and didn't know how to handle myself in the "we're not officially dating but we're dating" phase.

I think that's why I'm bad at this. I get uncomfortable in that phase because what's really being accomplished there? Nothing really.

This doesn't mean that I want to go straight to commitment when I like someone. I obviously need to know the basics about them, how they operate, and if there’s compatibility between us. But I personally don’t need all of someone to know I want to be in a relationship with them.

I don’t need to “test drive the car before buying it,” if you know what I mean (if you don't, you're too young to be reading this.) Because if I really like someone, everything else will truly be great for me no matter what.

Not to mention, good “driving” is something that's practiced and learned. Just because someone isn’t great at it now, doesn’t mean they’ll never be.

It seems to me that a lot of people want someone’s love and body first, and then maybe commitment down the road. Is it just me that thinks that’s an illogical way of thinking?

Because the way I think is, what did this person do to deserve all of me? Buy me a couple dinners? Tell me that I’m pretty? I love food and compliments, everybody does, but I need things like consistency, dependability, and commitment.

If I feel this way, you may wonder why I still go out on dates. What’s the point right? The answer is, even if I hold relatively serious views on the topic of dating, I don’t take the process so seriously. It's still a great, fun way to figure out what you want in someone, and more importantly what you don’t want in someone.

Another reason why I don't take dating so seriously is because I’m aware that most guys my age can’t offer the things I want right now, and that’s okay.

I don’t think guys are shitty for not being consistent or dependable because sometimes, guys just don’t have a damn clue what they’re doing when it comes to girls.

Dating is a long, sometimes exhausting process, but now I’m able to define pretty much exactly what attracts me to someone. It keeps me from investing time in the wrong people, and it allows me to put more effort into the right ones.

Report this Content
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

55375
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

35678
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957719
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

185535
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments