My Ex Boyfriend Was "The One," Until He Wasn't

My Ex Boyfriend Was "The One," Until He Wasn't

In a time of heartbreak where I thought I had nothing, I realized I had gained everything.

My Ex Boyfriend Was "The One," Until He Wasn't

Breakups have always been easy for me. I was always considered “the guy” in the relationship and did not seem to dwell on too much when it came to heartbreak. That was true until I met the boy who I thought was the one. By “the one,” I meant the boy I was going to marry and with whom I was going to start a family and spend the rest of my life. This never rang true. Turns out, he was the one that allowed me to feel the presence of God for the first time in my life.

I grew up spiritually confused. With a family with no set religion, it was my job to explore and decide for myself what I wanted to believe. College seemed like the perfect opportunity to do this since I was finally able to experience as much religion and spirituality as possible without outside influence from my family. There was one thing I was completely sure of: there was some higher power that has gotten me through all of my hardships in life. I believed in something.

Then, there was the boy. A very religious boy who inspired me with his passion for his faith and his love for God. I didn’t realize or appreciate enough that every day I was falling more and more in love with him and who I was becoming. If that boy is reading this, thank you for changing me for the better and inspiring me to look harder for hope and optimism. You will forever be responsible for saving my life in all of the future obstacles that I will face. Not you directly, but because you helped me find God.

The boy and I did not work out. I made a mistake and lost the one thing that I thought I needed in my life. I was so extremely wrong. As someone who usually is able to brush a breakup off and get back into my routine of life, it was strange for me to feel so much heartbreak. I thought I lost a best friend, a partner, a fellow Star Wars enthusiast and jalapeno lover but failed to acknowledge that I gained so much more.

As an outlet, I began to journal. I began to record down quotes that I heard throughout the day that really impacted me, song lyrics that related to my emotions for the day and even Bible quotes to push for more faith in my life because I knew at this low point, it’s what I really needed.

I was writing a letter to him in my journal, not one that he would ever see, and started discussing how the way I saw his perfection has shifted from the time we were together to now. At first, it was all about his characteristics and his love for me. Every day, he helped me feel beautiful and see that I needed to love myself more to prove my self-worth. Towards the end of our relationship, I grew so confident and began to realize that the more he loved me, the more I loved myself and the less I needed him to love me.

That is when I realized the perfection I see in him now was a result of the fact that he made more capacity for the growing perfection in me. He could no longer help me increase my self-love. He already did his job, and because of that, I was falling more out of love with him and more in love with who I was becoming. That being said, I knew deep down that there had to be someone else out there who would help me continue on this journey of falling completely head over heels in love with myself.

This is when I froze before I wrote the last sentence in my journal entry.

“God would not put the person I’m meant to be with in my life if I didn’t completely love myself yet.”

Typing it still gives me the chills. I felt the hairs on my arms stand up, my spine warmed downwards and I felt so infinitely happy inside myself. I knew it was Him.

So to wrap this up, my ex was not the one who I’m going to marry. He is not the one I will spend the rest of my life with. He is not the one who will be there 'til death do us part. As much as the idea of a forever person was exciting, I grew to accept that it wasn't realistic at the moment. He is the one who allowed me to first feel God, and that, to me, is just as special.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Being a pharmacy technician never held as many risks as it does now. Exposure too hazardous conditions were little to none, and garbing up was only conducted in IV compounding. But, now, in order to give nurses the medications they need to help their patients, they need us, pharmacy technicians.

Keep Reading... Show less

TikTok was banned by the president, but Instagram is here with its newest feature called Reel. Many of us are still wondering why TikTok was being banned in the first place. Was it all the dangerous TikTok trends? It was because of a security concern, but not in the way you might think.

TikTok is owned by Dancebyte, which is a China-owned company. Basically, just like any other app, TikTok collects the user's data. The main question to ask yourself when investing in any app or marketing tools who will be owning my data? So yes, China currently owns all the TikTok user's data worldwide.

Keep Reading... Show less

I've always been a huge Disney villain fan — whether it was for their cryptic one-liners, enviable outfits, or sidekick banter. Some of the most iconic lines from cinematic history have been said by the characters we love to hate and occasionally dress up as once a year.

The fear-mongering Gaston I now find hilariously cringe-worthy is now charming and oftentimes considered by fans as rightfully justified in his actions. Die-hard fans of the Disney villain fan club claim alternate egos in their favorite evil characters, adopting their hilarious witticisms into everyday life.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Reasons To Put The Damn Mask On, And Stop Fussing With It

COVID-19 is real people, do your part to protect yourself and others.

Ilana Stein

With the ever-changing reality of our world due to COVID-19, there has been one constant throughout these past unforeseen months, masks. Ever since coronavirus hit the ground running in the US, the CDC has been recommending social distancing and mask-wearing to stop the rapid spread.

Many people have been great about adhering to these policies, mandates, and suggested uses, but others, not so much.

Keep Reading... Show less

Anyone who goes to Panera Bread will tell you that their mac and cheese is to die for. If you're a huge fan of their mac and cheese, you won't believe the new recipe they're coming out with!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been an athlete my entire life. I love movement and I've been jumping, kicking, swimming, dancing, throwing, you name it since I was in diapers. I'm also pretty competitive and probably went through a few sore loser phases. What can I say? I like to win, and losing can sometimes feel like I've failed. Especially, when your competitor is your best friend or someone that you worked all year long to defeat.

Keep Reading... Show less

I Asked My Boyfriend His Opinion On Liking Other Girls’ Pictures, And, Spoiler Alert, It's Cheating

"When you get into a relationship and you're in love, you have to realize that liking photos is for the single lifestyle."

Ladies, listen up. If you are in a relationship with a guy and he is liking other girls' pictures on social media, then it's a red flag. A man who can look at someone else and show interest by liking it means he doesn't care about your feelings AT ALL.

Keep Reading... Show less

I am not in any way any sort of medical expert. These are just some tricks that work for me and have worked for others who also suffer from anxiety. These may not work for everyone, but I do hope these help some people in their fight against anxiety.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

- I have extremely sensitive skin, which is why I have always resorted to a plant-based organic beauty line such as Radha Beauty.

- Radha Beauty won me over years ago when I was looking for organic skincare brands.

- I was so excited to see they launched a new line incorporating USDA organic rosehip oil, so when their PR team sent me some, I could not have been more thrilled.

- After a week of using the products, my face felt as smooth as a baby's, looked more glowy than ever, and even cured some of my summer sunburn.

Radha Beauty isn't just a best-selling beauty brand on Amazon — it's a USDA-certified organic beauty brand I live by, and anyone who knows me knows I am all about holistic wellness.

Typically, it only takes three days for me to tell if a skin product is working or not because I have extremely sensitive skin. It's also why I have always stuck by plant-based organic beauty lines such as Radha Beauty.

Keep Reading... Show less

I have definitely had my fair share of breakups. I broke up with my high school sweetheart my second semester of college (he was cheating on me), I had a breakup with another guy I thought I was going to marry, and others in between. Regardless of whether you're the one doing the dumping or being dumped, breakups can HURT.

Keep Reading... Show less

Social media is something many of us have been addicted to (whether we want to believe it or not) since the moment we got it. I remember getting Facebook at 10. Instantly I was hooked. I loved being able to share my life with people, a little too much in my opinion, and I loved being able to see how/what other people were doing all the time.

Keep Reading... Show less

-Having struggled with acne prone skin for years, I was cautious to try a new serum on top of the other products I've come to trust.

Keep Reading... Show less

I have always felt left out because of how I look and who I am. I have always felt like the elephant in the room, literally. I have always been shamed for my size. For the longest time, I cared so much about what I wear and who I wore certain things in front of. I never wanted to wear shirts that would show a lot of my arm, located above my elbow. I wouldn't wear shorts that didn't go to the tip of my knees, at least. I never wore anything remotely tight, where you could see every curve, roll, or imperfection. I was so insecure about myself, and not many of my friends knew.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Your Social Activism May Actually Benefit From A Cleansing Social Media Detox

In the craziest year of our lives, sometimes there's value in taking a break.

We are living through, unequivocally, one of the most dangerous, unstable, chaotic periods of any of our lives. From COVID-19 to crises of police brutality to the mass exploitation of the poor by mega-corporations, the world outside seems to be looking more dystopic every day. What can be done about it? For many, activism involves heavily posting on social media to keep others aware. However, this comes with a net negative cost — increased levels of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness about the state of the world. Why might this be? After all, in past eras activists have endured comparable and greater levels of abuse and relentless torment from oppressors. Why, now, are people getting so easily burnt out?

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments