Sports dominate my life. I study them, I watch them, I get invested in them, I scream about them (happily and angrily), and I get upset about them.
When it comes to being a fan of a team, there's definitely a spectrum for that level of fandom. There are casual fans that go to a few games here and there, or maybe once every year or so. Then there are the crazy fans, the ones that go to every game they can and know the players on the roster inside and out. And I am the epitome of that fan.
As I watched my favorite team lose in heartbreaking fashion to the Penn State Nittany Lions on Saturday night, I couldn't help but feel a sense of impending doom. My girlfriend and her roommates looked at me with the sort of confusion that many people do when Ohio State loses; they couldn't understand why I was so upset over a college football game. While they don't care much for sports, even casual fans don't understand the heartbreak I endure.
It's difficult to explain and even harder to understand if I can even find the words to describe the obsession I have with Ohio State football. I've been a fan of the team for over a decade, following its players, its coaches, and its potential recruits closely for the entire way. I've become so emotionally invested that some of the biggest highs and lows of my life have taken place inside The Shoe.
Losing to Michigan State in the 2013 Big Ten Championship game caused me to not talk to anyone for the rest of the night, as well as the majority of the next morning. The loss to the same team in 2015, at home nonetheless, was drowned (responsibly) in alcohol. On the flip side though, the 2014 game against That Team Up North remains the best sporting event I've ever been to, and winning the national championship a little over a month later induced a level of joy and happiness that I don't feel very often.
But when I get upset after a loss, I know that its my own fault. My emotional investment comes from knowing how talented Ohio State is year after year, led by arguably one of the best college football coaches of all-time in Urban Meyer. Despite widespread belief that 2016 would be a down year for my beloved Buckeyes, I kept my expectations high like I always do, knowing full well what a loss would do to my sanity. After narrowly escaping one daunting night game on the road in Camp Randall, the following week my high came crashing down in Happy Valley.
What's almost comical about it is the fact that everyone knows how I get after a loss. After the loss to Penn State, I woke up the next morning to multiple text messages from friends and family members, asking me if I was okay. Everyone knows how crazy I am. Some find my overwhelming passion to be a good thing, others see it as a glaring flaw in my personality. Personally, I see it as a good and a bad thing, showcasing the loyalty and passion that I put into everything I do, for better or for worse.
There are few people that can understand me or my emotional relationship with sports. For lack of a better word to describe it, it's an addiction. This is who I am, and regardless of how crushed or defeated I feel following a loss, it's the emotional high of a win that keeps me coming back for more every single time.
