Growing up as a girl I was told not to show my shoulders to the boys, it would distract them from their school work. I was told not to wear “booty” shorts because it made me look slutty. I was even told not to wear too much make up, boys might think I’m ugly underneath it all. And as a woman, I can honestly say I am so over it.
Recently I caught a young man in my life staring at my chest, and I didn’t freak out. I told him to stop staring, did the “my eyes are up here” routine. It didn’t shock me; I could be wearing a sweater and some men will still find something to stare at. Let's be real, as a 20 year old woman I've dealt with it a lot. What shocked me during this encounter was the second young man, who told me if I didn’t want men looking at my tits I shouldn’t wear tank tops. I was on vacation in Arizona, it was 95 degrees outside. I had been doing yard work for my grandmother and helping around the house. I was wearing something comfortable for the weather I was currently in, and I refuse to be ashamed of that.
The decisions I make in my life do not determine the actions of another individual. I refuse to change what I am comfortable in to make another human being do what is polite. I, as a woman, am sick and tired of being told to change my lifestyle to decrease the horrible actions of others. I, as a woman, am tired of other human beings telling me what to do and not do with my body. I, as a woman, am tired of being made to feel insecure because of stranger’s comments.
“We’ve been taught a woman’s body will cause men to sin. We’re told that if a woman shows too much of her body men will do stupid things. Let’s be clear: A woman’s body is not dangerous to men. Her body will not cause them harm. It will not make them do stupid things. If you do stupid things, it is because you chose to do stupid things.” – Nate Pyle How to See a Woman: A conversation between father and son.
I am a woman who is comfortable in my own skin. I am a woman who thinks more about my future goals than the opinions of irrelevant people around me. I am a person who tries to love people right where they are. But don’t think because I love you that I won’t tell you the cold hard truth when you need it.
Don’t tell a woman what to wear based on your own personal opinions. Don’t base her worth off her clothes, her weight, her looks, etc. I am worth more than a label you want to put on me. I am also not responsible for the actions you take on your own accord, not mine. The most beautiful curve on my body is my smile, not my behind. The sexiest thing about me is my confidence, not my chest. Stop making women hate the skin they live in because you can’t be a decent human and mind your own business. Healthy is the new beautiful, mentally and physically. Encourage women to be healthy.
So, to the boy who told me not to wear tank tops, if I don’t want men to look at my chest, I hope this teaches you something. Some day you will say this to a girl who was sexually assaulted because a man made a disgusting decision that had nothing to do with the clothes on her back. Some day you will say this to someone’s mother, daughter, aunt, etc. and I hope one day one of them will say something to you that changes your mind set. Because I didn't have time to waste on you. I choose not to look back at the people trying to drag me down, I’m too busy looking forward to a future much brighter than you.
