Anxiety disorders are a very common mental disorder. In many cases, it can affect a person’s physical health in addition to a person’s mental health. I have been dealing with anxiety for most of my life. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was in the 3rd grade. I am not able to describe what an anxiety attack is like for anyone with anxiety because everyone experiences things differently, but I can describe, to the best of my ability, what anxiety is like for me.
Having anxiety is not being worried. It is having a constant doubt in the back of your mind. It is wondering if your best friend actually likes you, or just pities you. It is expecting the worst thing to happen or even just expecting things to go wrong. It is not paranoia. It is a logical fear that was caused by some event in the past. In my case, I used to have friends in middle school and high school who would talk behind my back and try to shut me out. Because of this, I am constantly thinking about people’s actions and words towards me. This has made me very picky when it comes to friends, but it has also protected me. I have been wrong about people in the past, and because of it, I have learned how to deal with situations that I normally wouldn’t in the past.
I am not the best when it comes to conflict. I avoid it as much as I can. Something I have learned, is the people who cause the most conflict, are the most important in my life. When I argue with my friends, the friendship is always affected in one of two ways. It will either make our friendship stronger, or kill it completely. Either way, it shows me the kind of person they really are. Conflicts become especially difficult for people with anxiety, because overthinking tends to happen a lot. In my case, my mind goes to the worst possible scenario. I expect the worst possible thing to happen. I know it’s kind of strange, but I have been caught off guard so many times in my life, it’s better to be prepared. This is why my anxiety has made me strong.
I know how to handle the worst possible situations. I know what to do, because I have thought about it so much that I have prepared 6 different plans of action.
Anxiety attacks are extremely hard to deal with, and everyone experiences them differently. Some people need space and to be by themselves, and some people need someone to be there and hold their hand. I have discovered who my true friends are based on what happens when I send that text that says “I need help.” There are approximately 5 people that I send this text to when I am having an anxiety attack, and they know who they are. They don’t all respond in the same way, and that is how I know they truly care. They are all there for me in some way. I struggle when it comes to helping people when they’re upset. I can’t deal with my own emotions, and people crying makes me uncomfortable. But if one of these 5 people call me or text me and they are upset, I am there in some way.
My anxiety attacks have made me a stronger person. Because of anxiety attacks, I know I am not alone. I have these 5 people in my life who are there for me. In the middle of an anxiety attack, I try and think about these people and what they have done for me. This calms me down, and makes it easier to overcome anxiety attacks later. My anxiety continues to make me stronger.
