Dear Dad,
I want to start off by saying thank you because without you, I learned to appreciate and focus on the things I did have rather than what I didn't have. Countless nights I spent alone crying and wondering why you weren't there for me. Now that I look back on it, I don't feel sorry for my mother and I: I feel sorry for you. I am writing this letter to express to you the feelings that I never had the courage to say to you or to tell anyone eighteen years ago.
I was deeply hurt by all the things you DIDN'T do for me. I don't think you can even fathom how I felt growing up without a father. I feel as if you left me, but most importantly my mom to fend for me on her own. You never came to any birthdays, you never celebrated any holidays with me, and you never even made a simple phone call to see how I was doing. I never saw it then, but I am so glad that God placed this upon my heart to say to you. With or without you, I will never be alone.
You should really commend my mother, grandmother, and aunt for taking your place. They were, have been, and are the father that you never were to me. I use to feel so much hurt and pain thinking back on it until one day, God allowed me to see the bigger picture. Although I never had you, I ALWAYS had my father in heaven and guess what? He told me that He would never leave nor forsake me. I began to put my trust and faith in Him and he has not steered me wrong.
When I was low, He picked me up and said "steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord." Once again, my intention is not to make you feel like less than, but this is the way you made me feel. For years, I suffered from depression and thought that because since this is the way I am viewed by the only person I want to receive love from, I would be nothing. From this growing experience, I have learned "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift."
I hope in the near future that I can be half the parent my mother was to me and twice the parent that you could ever be. Despite this hardship that I have been dealing with these past years, I am grateful for everything and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I found a father figure in the different role models surrounding me each and every day. There is just one last thing I would like to say before I close this letter: I made it without you!
It's not about what you don't have, but what you do have. I have the best parents a girl could ever wish for, a good education, and a very prosperous future. So thank you, dad, for everything you didn't do because that is what really made all the difference.
Sincerely,
A girl who's finally been set free
