Working at a movie theatre has really brought me closer to identifying with Josh Nichols of Drake and Josh (see photo below) and dealing with the general public and their outrageous demands for popcorn.
1. People think they're so entitled to their free popcorn
Newsflash: it's free, please stop complaining about how small the bags are.
2. When there's an oil spill, all hell breaks loose
3. Why do people order nachos at 10 a.m.?
4. Even though you know it's just bagged cheese warmed up, that nacho cheese is so good
It's such a versatile topping, too. You can dip almost anything we sell in it, and it's still wonderfully processed and deliciously unhealthy.
5. No, we can't accept old coupons, please stop asking
My manager will also tell you the same thing. Even if you tell me that Bed Bath & Beyond accepts old coupons, this is, in fact, a movie theatre.
6. The Concessions Stand and the Box Office are two different counters, I'm sorry I can't sell you tickets with my popcorn
7. I always put butter in your popcorn halfway through, you don't need to ask
"But can you put TONS AND TONS AND TONS of butter on it? And can I salt it halfway?"
8. I know you're lying when you say your popcorn "spilled" and you just want a free refill
But I can't argue with you.
9. Yes, it's really expensive, but complaining to me won't change anything
When you watch a movie at your own home do you really eat all of these snacks? Probably not.
10. Telling me to keep the change (3 cents) because you don't want to wait for me to open my roll of pennies is just rude
11. I almost never have enough change in my drawer to break your $100 dollar bill
Especially if it's to pay for something that's $6.22
12. Telling me to smile will not make me smile
At the end of an 8-hour shift, all I want to do is sit down and never speak again. Please don't tell me how to do my job, and that girls should always be smiling.
13. I have accepted that my hair will always smell like popcorn and my hands will always be greased with butter
14. Yes, we really do make the popcorn fresh every day
15. If you're complaining about the line and you still don't know what you want by the time it's your turn to order, just go please
"Jeez you guys should really get some more workers back here! Let me see... Jack, you want anything? No? Should I get popcorn? Will you eat it if I do? What's the difference between a large and a medium?"
16. Yes, we get free movies, no I haven't seen any because I spend all my time actually working here
17. If you bring your own pen to work and you still have it at the end of your shift, you've beaten the system
18. I. Don't. Control. Pricing.
Let me say it again for the people in the back.
19. If you're nice to me I will be nice back, if you're rude, I still have to be nice back
Sometimes I leave work feeling like I've aged 28 years.
20. Sunday morning, Mondays, and Wednesdays are the slowest times
And matinee prices are cheaper anyways.
21. The signs that say, "this register is closed" mean that this register is closed
22. Please tell me what size you want, I can't read your mind
"Okay, give me a popcorn and a pop."
"What size?"
"What sizes are there?"
*sigh*
23. In the end, this job has been the lesser of all evils and these encounters are frustrating, but ultimately make for some good laughs
Working at a movie theatre has really shown me that people will pay $4.87 for a bottle of water and get popcorn even if they hate it, just because it's the movie theatre experience. I've had people ask me what butter is (how do you explain that?) and if they could just fill up their soda cup with ICEE (no). It's not always easy, but it's always entertaining.
