Everyone has bad days. When living with multiple chronic illnesses, these bad days may be worse than the typical. Bad days involve passing out, writhing in pain, not being able to eat, hear, or speak, and many other symptoms. On these days the simplest of activities become difficult such as getting out of bed. On these days I want to give up, but I don't.
I hold on on these days because of my goals. I hold on because one day I hope to hold a degree in journalism. I hold on because I dream of one day attending USC Annenberg and fulfilling my dreams of being an official journalist. These dreams are what keep me going. They keep me thinking positively as I know that it will get better and when it does, I can keep striving for greatness.
Not every spoonie will have these large dreams. For some, the goals to keep them motivated are taking a shower or attending a school event. These activities in my daily life keep me motivated too. While taking a shower may seem easy to everyone else, to me it means a major attack of blood pooling and tachycardia. It involves lying on the floor for a half hour after. Small tasks turn into big feats.
I look forward to accomplishing these goals every day though. Whether my motivation is a test, a shower, or USC, it keeps me going. These goals remind me that eventually it will get a little better and a good day is coming. While my day dreaming of LA may seem excessive, for me it keeps me going. That single thought gets me through the test the next period. That thought pushes me to continue taking notes when I have almost passed out. That thought pushes me to not give up.
To any spoonie, I encourage you to set a goal: big or small. Whether that goal is to take a shower or attend a prestigious university, take the risk and make the goal. When you push yourself to achieve this goal, it can get you through anything. My dreams of USC got my through stroke-like symptoms for months, an inability to tolerate any food or liquid, a complete loss of hearing and so much more. I can promise you that no matter how unreachable the goal seems, you can reach it.
Shoot for the moon, and even if you don't reach the moon, at least you will have touched the stars.
