Don't get me wrong. Vampires are great monsters. But after years of Bram Stoker, Anne Rice, and Stephanie Meyer at the forefront of our attention, we give them more credit than they're due. For everyone who loves monstrous romance, but is a bit tired of fangs and pale skin, look no further. I've got the perfect monster for you.
1. Chupacabras
Chupacabra feeding on a goatThe chupacabra is a great monster to get you out of your vampire comfort zone. It's the size of a small bear, so not too intimidating, and--get this--it also sucks blood! If you want someone "who knows how to suck blood but isn't, like, basic about it," the chupacabra is the monster for you.
2. Manticores
The manticore is a Persian monster similar to a sphinx. It's got plenty of firepower (it can shoot venomous spines), the body of a lion, and the head of a human. If you want a strong monster, but can't do without a little humanity, the manticore is right for you.
3. Banshees
Banshees are Irish female spirits well-known for their shrieking, which signals an approaching death. So basically, a ginger emo queen. Do I even have to point out the appeal?
4. Poltergeists
The poltergeist is the perfect monster for all my introverts out there. Poltergeists are spirits that cause physical disturbances. That means you don't have the pressure of having to talk to them all the time, but when you feel lonely, a poltergeist will always let you know they're there. A slammed door, a broken window, the stove turned on--poltergeists find ways to show they care.
5. Mummies
Mummies are pretty mainstream, but they're deserving of the attention. Mummies are simply the perfect monster for long-term relationships.
6. Golems
Golems are clay creatures from Jewish folklore that have been brought to life. Like Frankenstein, but a longer, cooler, history. If you prefer to be the leader in a relationship, here's a tip: bring the golem to life yourself, and it will be bound to you in service!
7. The Kraken
The Kraken is a cephalopod-like sea creature usually spotted off the coasts of Norway and Greenland. Presumably, there's only one, so only woo the Kraken if you like taking on a challenge. After all, you'd have to be pretty great to win over the one and only terror of the sea.
8. Sirens
Sirens are part-bird, part-woman creatures that love to sit on rocks and lure sailors to their deaths with their beautiful singing. Got a soft spot for musicians? Sirens may be perfect for you--unless you're a sailor, that is, in which case you might want to plug your ears with some wax.
9. Changelings
Changelings are very similar to humans in appearance, as they are fae that were switched for humans at birth. One of the best parts of being in a relationship with a changeling is the talking stage, where you have to figure out whether they're a changeling or just an arts student. Hint: Carry an iron trinket with you. Trust me.
10. The Minotaur
Here's a tragic backstory for you: The King Minos dishonored the god Poseidon by not sacrificing a bull, and Poseidon cursed Minos' wife, Pasiphaë, to fall in love with the bull. Thus, the Minotaur. Minos didn't take too kindly to the lad and had him trapped inside a maze. So if you've ever watched a weepy rom-com with a broken male lead and thought, "That's attractive," the Minotaur might just be for you.
