As we gather each and every year at Thanksgiving, we are surrounded by a lot of food and family, this year was no exception. There may have been all the same dishes and all the same faces, but something struck a chord within me this year-- I seemed to take more from it perhaps. Whether it be that I finally wanted to comprehend more than just hear or it or maybe it be the last year before going off to college, I was trying to grasp onto my childhood for one last time. Whatever the reason was I took more away from Thanksgiving than I usually do. Everything was the same: the people, the food, the paper turkey with M&M'S and peanuts inside. Even when grace was called and all seventeen people frantically gathered together in the small kitchen, it still was the same. Though as we stood there in a circle with our arms linked, heads bowed and eyes shut, my grandfather began to speak and things began to change. I was clinging on to every word in desperation to comprehend it all.

He first began to speak of happiness--how we find happiness in people coming to our birthdays, receiving gifts and other materialistic ideals. At first I was baffled on where he was going and was losing sight of where he was going with the speech. Then he said that these happiness's don't last but it is joy, pure infallible joy that really lasts. Where does this joy come from? This joy he said comes from our faith and our family and when we truly ground ourselves in each--when we step away from the little happinesses and we see the bigger picture. We are only a small part of this ticking clock, a tiny gear. It wasn't like what he was saying was anymore different from the past years, it was the same message just this time it clicked. My frantic soul of course attached itself in this idea and I began to reflect on my own life.

I started thinking about how unhappy I was feeling lately. That unsatisfied feeling that usually clams up inside of me when things go awry. Then I asked myself had I been searching for the wrong thing? I was constantly seeking for these empty happinesses instead of joy. I was grounding myself in the materialism of it all. Saddened by grades, loss of friends and social status instead of looking for an everlasting joy.-- something sustainable that would satisfy that feeling inside.

One can only find serenity in their self when they can find thankfulness in their life. It's a crazy thought for sure--a simplistic one indeed but a one in which we often don't think of. There are people worse off that me and better off, but if I can't find thankfulness in what I have then I will never find joy in my life. Some people constantly search for “happiness” in their lives when the whole time they had joy in front of them that they could never see. Seeing thankfulness doesn't take sight but rather a sightful state of mind.