A noun meaning, “A mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy; good fortune,” (Merriam-Webster) this is the dictionary definition of happiness. However, I feel as if the true definition of happiness differs from person to person and lies in the hands of the seeker. Still to this day I struggle with unraveling this seemingly painless word, for I feel that untangling it will expose the purpose of that which is life. Simply put, this will be a lesson for the both of us. Let us not allow misconceptions but instead analyze our lives to uncover the true definition of happiness.
Let us start with what happiness is not-material objects, money, or simply feeling “good” all the time; easily confused, however, because misconceptions and happiness go hand in hand. Many people strive for the largest house, the widest closet, and the newest car and once achieved, they are left begging for more. Much like material things, money is not the answer either. For example, the excitement of getting a raise only lasts for so long before one becomes accustomed to their new level of income. Many feel as if this greater currency will become their anti-depressant and stereotypically, cause them to feel at a ten all the time-which brings me to another subject. Happiness is not feeling great twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. I feel as if this is the most common misconception because people are constantly looking for this type of happiness which is unachievable. The media has taught us that even if we have depression, taking a certain drug will allow us to feel at our best all the time, when in reality, it will only make us feel slightly better. There are no guarantees on the percentage of increase we will see-no where on the bottle does it say, “Bringing your happiness level up to 100%.” One has to have the epiphany that not a single person on this planet feels wonderful all of the time, there are too many worldly problems for any single person to feel their best every second of the day.
A major step in finding one’s happiness is analyzing the life he/she is choosing to live. First, find out what the future entails. For most this means finding where one’s education, job, and family stands. Find out if schooling is an option, find out what jobs are available, and most importantly, find out if a sense of comfort that stems from family is the “thing” that is missing. Analyze all of these aspects because these are the ingredients to a purposeful life. I am not saying these will guarantee happiness, because they do not. What I am saying is that feeling like there is hope or a purpose in life would make anyone feel better. The next step in this process is finding stability; get back on your feet. You can not merely sit back, observe, and expect to walk into a cloud full of happiness; it just does not happen that way. Something I have learned over the course of the last three years is that happiness takes work, and a lot of work at that. One must strive to be happy in order to be granted happiness. This means being mentally stable even in the worst possible situation, being “okay” when you are not “okay.” Another key factor is figuring out where you belong. Friends are important, we long to feel cared for and loved, and we long to give care and love, which are vital characteristics in a friendship. Also, find out how you can make a difference in this world that is falling apart at the seams. There is so much that needs to be done and it can start with you. Donations or volunteer work are great ways to get involved in the community and they also give back a sense of accomplishment, which counteracts with the helplessness brought by depression. To make a long story short, analyzing your life can be beneficial in finding happiness.
Typically, happiness is based off of the individuals life but who is in control of this so called “happiness”? People often ponder, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” And I do not know the answer to this, however, I believe in a father I like to call, God. God allows these bad things to happen so they will be learning experiences for us to carry over into the after life. He actually plans for these “bad things” and knows exactly when they will occur before we are even born. I like to call this the, “Everything happens for a reason” theory. Although God is in control of these experiences, you are the one that lets these experiences determine your mood or outlook on life. With that being said, you, are in control. You are behind the steering wheel on the ship of life, not anyone else. When someone upsets you, you choose to let that situation upset you, that someone did not physically upset you. You did it to yourself. So take these horrible situations that all humans have, and put a positive spin on it. Remember, you are the person in control.
Simply put, happiness differs from person to person. I can not tell you what your happiness is, nor can anyone else. Happiness is found in the depths of your soul. However, there are ways I can help you in your seeking of happiness. Analyze your life-find out what the future entails, find stability, and find out where you belong. And do not forget that you are the one in control of your happiness. As for my definition of happiness, there have been times where I have been in bed for months on end contemplating the true meaning of this word. I have finally come to the realization that for me, happiness is waking up every single morning and choosing to live all the while the light is burning my eyes. It is simply not wanting to die, even on the worst days. Happiness is someone calling you “brave,” and you believing it; because the story-it will still go on, and the birds-they will still chirp, and the hearts-they will still beat. That is happiness, and I pray that someday, you will find your very own definition of it.
