"Just be happy."

" Smile."

"It'll get better."

I can't tell you the amount of times these words have been said to me, spilled aimlessly out of mouths who never truly understood what it was like to feel this way.

Think of your worst nightmare, the scariest place you can think of: an abandoned slaughterhouse, shark infested waters, anything that makes your palms sweat and your heart beat a little faster. Now imagine that place is inescapable. That is how it felt.

I am and always have been the type of person who feels the need to appear strong, no matter how I'm truly feeling. I never wanted to feel like a bother to anyone, and I certainly didn't want people to assume that I was weak. I prided myself in being the positive one, the one you could always go to for advice, and most of all, the one who had her life together.

But at the beginning of the second semester of my freshman year in college, I wasn't that girl.

Writing on the internet often seems like shouting into a void; you're never sure who is listening, if anyone at all. But there's always a chance, and even the slightest chance is all I need if it means helping one person to feel less alone.

So here goes nothing: my name is Katy and I struggle with anxiety and depression. I'm not writing this for sympathy, that's the last thing I want. I'm writing this because far too many people write off depression as "being sad", far too many people are ridiculed for having it, and far too many calls for help are ignored. I was lucky enough to be heard, but sadly, my case is not the norm.

Life has never been that hard for me, and I'm grateful for that, but I guess it's what made my situation so much harder to accept. I had a loving family, food on the table, and was attending a beautiful university. What more could I possibly need? Why was I feeling so low when I had nothing to be sad about?

But depression doesn't work that way. Depression doesn't take an inventory of your blessings, and it most certainly does not play favorites. Anyone can have depression, no matter what their situation may be, which was something that took me a long time to understand.

Here is how depression works: it creeps up on you when you least expect it. It disguises itself as a bad day, then a bad week, then "holy crap what's wrong with me". It consumes you, surrounds you, suffocates you. It makes getting out of bed feel like climbing Mount Everest and answering texts feel like writing a sequel to War and Peace. It is not glamorous, it is not beautiful, it is complete and utter hell.

If you are struggling with depression, I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. I can't say it gets better because, though it seems I've reached the light as the end of the tunnel, the thought of relapse still lingers in the back of my mind. But I can tell you one million percent that you are not the only one who feels this way, and I can tell you that you are strong enough to get through it.

Keep pushing on.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 (800) 273-8255