The monsters don't always have to win
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The Monsters in Our Head

You are not alone

The Monsters in Our Head
Darisa Pilon

There she was, laying down, both her headphones in, blankets covering her pale face, her arms wrapped around her stuffed animal like its the last thing she will ever hold again, tears pouring out those hazel eyes. Still at her worst, he still believe she's an angel, his angel.

Watching the ones you love suffer is most unbearable scene to experience. There's not much you could do for them either. You wish you could hold them and just by that contact you wish you could take the pain away. But it doesn't work. the pain doesn't leave that easily. It drags you down. It eats and eats at you slowly and devilishly. The monsters force you to suffer. They feed off our happiness. They are like demons, the ones in the movies. Where they take over the weakest till they finally win and take over them completely. Except these monsters are more playful. They let you heal a bit, then attack again when it's least expected.

Imagine sitting curled up in a ball in your shower. Then hot water beating down on you just like all the things you've done. The burn it gives you is the same burn you receive when the people say about you or even to you. Reminding you of all your flaws you are made up of. How much they aggravate other people. The things that keep you away from that magical word 'perfect' that everyone is literally dying to be called that by their special someone.

One day however, that special someone will come along and he will seem to fix you. But darling he won't. No one can fix you. Trust me you will believe he will make everything better. He will hold you perfectly those nights you're laying at 3am hating the world. He will reminded you daily that you're his princess, you're his babygirl, you're his everything. The way his voice sounds during those late night phone calls will scare the shit out of the monsters. Forcing them to be the ones hiding.

What happens when he's gone? Well that's when the monsters attack brutally. They take advantage of how fragile his little angel was. They take advantage of how your prince charming just left and now you're all by yourself at 3am. That he's no longer there to scare them away and protect you. These monsters are tricksters, with horrible timing.

Now prince charming returns on his white horse. Making things better once again. He's already proved that he's new and improved now and that this time is going to be okay. He reminds you of all the times he brought a smile and made your eyes brighten up. You can't resist, you let him back. He's not as bad as the monsters right?

Time passes once again. Everything's alright once again. The scars covering your innocent minded wrists have finally cleared up. The monsters haven't returned in a couple months now. He starts treating you like he never hurt you. Everything seems to be okay finally. School is finally a piece of cake and you and your bestfriend have gone on unbelievable adventures. Nothing could go wrong at this point. Everythings 'perfect'.

It's 10 pm. Your savior is out on a night with the guys. Your body starts feeling an unusual way, a way you can barely remember. Your night continues and you are no longer in contact with your significant other, he's too busy. You're shockingly wide awake which is very unusual. It's now 3am once again. She's laying in bed with her headphones in both ears, music blasting into her mind awakening it. It is time. The monsters return and now you're all on your own. You have forgotten how to save yourself. He was just so perfect at it you never learned yourself.

The next morning you awake with your wrists now covered in art work by a disturbed minded person. While the cold water hits your face scenes of the night before keep replaying in your mind. You decided to keep it from prince charming. You don't want to lose him again. These nights continue happening and she keeps them to herself. Having no one to run to because it's her own little secret.

Prince starts realizing his angel is falling apart again. He doesn't know what to do. Nothing he seems to do fixes her anymore. She pushed him away, making him feel now useless too. He has failed her, and his promises. He continues trying to bring his angel her sparkles back. After trial and error he gets pretty tired. She gets frustrated and now begins to bring out the pain she is feeling on him. She holds the night it all started again against him because his boys entered his mind for once, setting her free. Monsters stole her back, with that 'perfect' opportunity.

They have finally lost each other. Nothing is okay anymore, everythings broken. He has failed her and decides that leaving her would makes things better. He says goodbye and promises to always be there for her. Looks into her hazel eyes one last time and kisses her forehead goodbye.

Her last glance of him was him walking away. The only person who actually made her feel important not worthless is leaving. She will never text him or call him again. He left her, he broke her. Nights go on and the monsters keep returning. Now they make that poor angel fall apart convincing her she isn't good enough for someone to stay, or for someone to even love her. Love's now dead to her. Love doesn't bring happiness, it just brings pain. The art work she's been working on for a while is now everywhere along the body he once ran his hands against.

These monsters are brutal. They survive the same way us humans do, happiness. Without happiness our lives are nothing. We are already in hell, burning and suffering. The monsters just play games with you, and bring you down when you least expect it. Happiness is a prize given to everyone, one at a time. Cherish the feeling if you have it a lot. You're a lucky one. People die for happiness.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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