My first year of college, I lived in a suite with 6 other freshman girls, and we all changed a lot over the year. We grew as individuals, and some of us grew really close to each other. We all learned a lot about each other and ourselves, and as we grew closer, we each found our “role” in the group. Every group of friends varies, and has different roles that must be filled. There's the jokester, the party animal, the realist, the optimist -- the list could go on and on. There is one role that nearly every group of friends has: the mom.
The mom is a vital role in most groups. Chances are, a picture of one of your friends just came into your mind. For my friends, the picture was probably my stern mom look. There is no doubt that I have filled this position in our group, but if the picture is a little blurry for you and you aren't quite sure who is mom in your group of friends, we are going to clear it up right now.
1. Moms are like your conscience.
Does the phrase “make good choices” commonly come from one of your friends nearly any time you leave to go do something? That person is probably mom. Whether it's going out to party, a first date, a road trip home or just a night on the town without them most moms send their friends off with this. I used this phrase to the point that my friends simply responded with “no”, so I modified my catch phrase to “make reasonable choices”. They seem to respond much better to that, so for my fellow moms, feel free to try it out.
2. Moms worry, a lot.
Of course, once we have sent our friends out for the night we constantly worry about whether or not they are okay. We give them specific instructions that are supposed to ease our worries like, “drive safe,” “text me when you get there,” or “call me if you need anything.”
3. Moms are always prepared.
Just like any good scout, moms are always prepared for any situation. Need some Advil? Got it. hand sanitizer? You betcha. My recommendation for any mom is to keep an emergency box in the car, with everything you may need. Bobby pins, a hair brush, baby wipes, a phone charger, granola bars -- the list goes on and on. This preparedness is why your mom friend is always the first one you go to in desperate situations, and we usually understand. We are always sure to replenish our supply because you never know when one of your friends is going to need to borrow your toilet paper.
4. Moms are the go to decision maker.
Finalizing plans is hard for a lot of people. What day should we hang out? When should we leave? Where should we meet? And there is always the dreaded, "where should we eat"! All very difficult questions that could take hours to answer, but not for mom. Your mom friend is usually the one who has to make decisions, even if she is generally indecisive in her day to day life. If you tell her she has to make the decision, she will, mainly because she knows you won't, and she is starving.
5. Moms seem put together.
Mom friends seem so responsible, and we like to believe that adulting comes naturally to them. We ask them all about student loans, 401K plans, insurance, taxes etc. They are always cleaning the living room, the bathroom and the kitchen like a responsible adult. They are just naturally more put together than the rest of your friends.
6. Moms are not put together.
While your friend may seem like her life is completely put together, it's probably not. Chances are, she does not know how taxes work. She likes to pretend like her student loans do not exist, and that she doesn't need to worry about them. She has no idea what a co-pay is, and she doesn't even know what 401K stands for. She is always cleaning the living room, bathroom and kitchen because they are always messy, and those are the rooms people see the most of. Her room is probably a trash can, and she doesn't really care. Trust me, adulting comes naturally to basically no one, no even moms. Your mom may just be better at faking it.
7. Moms give great advice.
Even if your mom friend's life is probably in disarray, she is still the first person you go to for advice. She is always there to listen, and help you through all the tough situations. She gives great advice on everything from what shoes to wear on a date to major moral dilemmas. Moms are also the go to shoulder to cry on. They are warm and comforting, and just have a natural motherly instinct. This is especially appreciated in college. We are not full-fledged adults yet, but we no longer live with our actual moms. Sometimes all we need is that big mom hug, and someone to tell us it is going to be okay.
8. Moms speak the truth.
When you do go to your mom friend for advice, she is never afraid to say exactly what you need to hear. Moms want what is best for you, and they are not afraid to tell you that you are being ridiculous. They will help you get set back on the right path, or keep you from derailing in the first place. Moms are also, generally, the one to shut down the bad ideas. It's December, it's midnight, it's snowing, and there is black ice? No, you do not need to go to Walmart right now.
9. Moms are really encouraging.
Despite your mom friend being the one to speak the tough truths, she is also the one most proud of you. This friend is the one that gets very excited about everything you do, and encourages you to continue to succeed. You stayed up until 1 a.m. studying with her to pass your history finale that you were not prepared for? Yeah, shes probably going to hang it on the mini fridge.
10. Moms still have fun.
Even though, the friend who fills the mom role may be the best at cracking down when there is work to do, she definitely knows how to have a good time. She may even be better at letting loose than you, but only when the moment calls for it.
11. Mom are always moms.
While all mom friends know how to have a good time, this does not mean that ever leave home without their mom hats. No matter the time or place, moms are always moms. They may be partying right beside you, but this friend is also the one holding your hair while you are leaning over the toilet. She tucks you into bed with a plastic bag in case you can't make it to the bathroom, and leaves a water bottle and Advil by your bed even when she needs some as well. From homework sessions on Wednesday night to party scenes on Friday night, her mom hat is always on.
12. Moms love being moms.
No matter what you put your friend, who has willingly (or unwillingly) accepted the role of mom through, there is one thing that will always stay true. She will always be happy to be mom. Moms like to feel appreciated and needed, so while being mom to friends can be exhausting, we wouldn't want any other role. Moms care so much about each of their friends, and they wouldn't want anything bad happen them. Plus, having this much power over your friends can come in handy, and is kind of fun.
Surely, the picture in your mind is a little more clear now. If you are lucky enough to see your own smiling face then congratulations, you're the mom of your friend group. If you are not the mom of your friend group, then be sure to take a minute to thank your friend who has taken on this huge responsibility. Maybe, you are still in denial. You don't want to believe that you are the mom of your friend group, or you don't think you have one. Well, I invite you to take a look at this quiz: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/quizzes/a5592... Have all your friends try it, and if not a single one of you gets a positive test result... then I worry about your well being, and you should really find a responsible friend to take care of you.
