Are you the friend who always plans and coordinates get-togethers? Do you find yourself always trying to include everyone and make every single one of them happy? Well, that’s me. My friends have always joked and deemed me the “mom” of the group whenever we went out, or whenever I decided to take over coordinating the plans. Yeah, it was funny at first and I didn't think much of it, but this chronic mom syndrome is becoming a problem.

Here’s a short list of why I need to stop being the mom.

1. Being a people-pleaser isn't self-pleasing.

I used to, and still somewhat, feel a great amount of satisfaction when I know I am making others happy. I enjoy the fact that others find happiness when I lend a helping hand or offer some advice. However, I've learned that when you spend all of your time bending over backwards to please others, you may find that something is missing. Where is all the time for yourself? That's right. It's gone because you've spent all your time worrying about gaining acceptance from others.

2. It's okay to be selfish every now and then.

Just because you aren't doing 20 different favors for 20 different people, it does not mean you are a terrible person. You have the right to do what makes you happy. You are not morally obligated to volunteer for everything. Figure out your own life before you decide to help all of your friends figure out theirs.

3. Learn how to say no.

One of my biggest issues is that I always say yes and commit to things I do not want to do, or do not necessarily have the time to do. I usually end up regretting the fact that I volunteered for all these other things and fail to uphold my own responsibilities. Saying no to things is difficult, but in the end is far worth it because then you actually got to dedicate time to the things you truly care about.

4. Stop saying "I feel bad if I don't..."

Do not let others make you feel bad for not doing something for them. This is a trap. If you are a people-pleaser, you can be easily manipulated and are very impressionable. Understand that you cannot help every single person in your life and that sometimes you have to focus on yourself and what you want first. It's called prioritizing.

5. You do you.

Do not feel guilty for doin' you! It's a brutal and harsh world out there, and if you aren't assertive and fail to do what you want to do, people will walk all over you. You will never get to where you want to go in life if you don't pursue your wants and desires.

6. You can't always be the one who has their life together all the time.

You would like to think you are pretty put together and have a strong hold on your life, but believe it or not, you are also allowed to be a hot mess occasionally and have a few mental breakdowns. Having it all together 24/7 is impossible, okay? Trying to act like you are perfectly fine and always trying to be the dependable one is not easy, and when you do finally lose your mind it will probably scare your friends and they won't know what exactly to think of you anymore...

Life is too short to try to make every single person happy. Right now, you people pleasers just need to focus on themselves and figure out what it is that makes themhappy. If you are not happy, how can you expect to make others happy?

Don't misconceive this as an excuse to be selfish. This isn't me telling you to be self-indulgent and to be indifferent to the wants and needs of everyone else. For instance, you don't have to sacrifice all your time and happiness in order to please everyone around you! You can definitely care about others without having to do a list of favors for them on a regular basis. You will attract the right people into your life if you are truly and genuinely happy with who you are and what you are doing. So, I'm selling the minivan and am doing me from now on. So should you.