Why Modern-Day Feminists Need to Stop Playing the Victim Card

Why Modern-Day Feminists Need to Stop Playing the Victim Card

I am a strong woman and don't feel the need to claim the title of "feminist".
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AH, feminism. What a topic. Wage gaps, the "war on women," and the fight for equality. There are the extremists who believe in women's dominance. And then there are the women who just feed on the agenda of feminism when there really is no point to labeling what this movement is.

I am a strong woman and don't feel the need to claim the title of "feminist."

Okay, now before all the feminists write about how "small-minded" or "uneducated" I am on the topic, why don't you broaden your horizons and let someone else explain their point of view without you shoving your beliefs down our throats? Why don't you take a breather and let the other side of the spectrum share their beliefs (like the first amendment gives you yours!) Okay? Great. Thank you.

Now, no, I don't claim to be a feminist. I was raised to be an independent, strong female who shouldn't need any other person to take care of me. That's how all girls should be raised, but not under the title of "feminist." I truly believe feminist is another way of playing the victim card, but that's just me. I guess I see the world differently than having to play my woman card on everything when it's unnecessary and serves no greater purpose other than back in the early 19th century when women had zero rights, but today? Please. Stop.

I know that feminism is the movement nowadays that doesn't fight for our right to vote since we have that right because of the real feminists back in 1920. Feminism today is somehow a movement for the equality of everyone, but if that's the true core of the cause, why isn't it called humanism? You can be a regular person who believes in the absolute equality of every person. I am not a feminist and I believe everyone should be treated fairly and respectfully, but I need a specific label for that? And I'm confused why feminists thought that it would be a good idea to title something with a female-oriented word? But anyway, next subject.

Feminism is now really just an agenda that liberals have come up with to make voters believe that life here in America is just so hard. Wake up, America! Since I am a woman, I can tell you that life, in general, isn't supposed to be easy, that's how life is, and inequalities can occur anywhere, but living in the United States is a piece of cake in comparison to other countries. There will always be discrimination and racism, not always from the same race of people or gender, but it will always exist because all humans are flawed. It's unfortunate, but that's just how life is. And there is still more good in the world than bad, so it's not good to generalize and make a bigger issue of these matters when it wasn't necessary to begin with.

As a woman, I have the right to vote in every election, to marry whenever and whomever I'd like, I can choose to have children, and how many, if I want any at all, and I can live anywhere I'd like. I can go to any college, work where I'd like, and I have all the rights as a man. I can be my own person and I don't need the title of "feminist" to do so. In other parts of the world, some cultures don't respect women at all. That's sad, yes. But before you criticize and say that we need to step in, remember, it's their culture and America has no right to police other nations on how they run their societies. I think men and women of all ethnicities, faiths, and sexualities are equal and should be treated so, but in other places, that's not the case. So instead of complaining about all the struggles we don't have, and really just makeup, why don't we appreciate our freedoms? Because if women really weren't equal to men in the U.S., would Hillary Clinton be a presidential candidate? Didn't think so.

The wage gap is an issue in some places, yes, I will agree to that. Everyone should be paid fairly based on their abilities. But all the reports claiming women don't get paid as much as men are wrong. In comparison to a male engineer and a female nurse, for example, the engineer would make more money based on his field. Now, there are plenty of women, my mother included, who make more money than her male co-workers. It just depends on the job. If you want more money, work hard, and negotiate with your employer for better compensation. It's not for the government to come in and dictate pay because that would be socialism, and America was based on having a small government (AP US History and AP US Government would tell you that.) No, it isn't fair if one gender gets paid better for the exact same work, but in many circumstances, that's not even the case. The wage gap is mostly determined by different fields and comparing them. Don't believe the media that every single job in this country is like that. And don't play the female victim card just so you can make some point about a made up issue that was made to pander to voters.

The "war on women" is a joke. I am a woman and I don't feel attacked at all. I have the right to get an abortion if I find myself pregnant and don't want the child. But abortion will never become illegal again so it's a non-issue. I don't see why so many women throw this argument into the mix when our reproductive rights are our own and no one is going to be able to take them away from us by law. So why make a bigger issue out of nothing? It's simply irritating. Get an abortion and no one will actually be able to stop you. Yes, there will always be people who try to stop abortions and protest the Roe v. Wade ruling, but by law, it's up to the woman. SO whatever your views are on abortion, you still have the right to do whatever you want with your body. Whether you "accidentally" get pregnant because of unprotected sex or in the unfortunate circumstances of rape, you have the choice. And no one will ever be able to take that away from you. So feminists, stop being rude and putting those bumper stickers on your cars that say "Keep your rosaries off my ovaries." That's annoying. By doing that, you're only making the issue bigger when it doesn't even exist. No devout religious person will ever agree with abortion, but don't be rude about their faith, just because some of you don't know how to have protected sex in 2016. (Side note: there's no need for abortions nowadays when birth control and condoms are a lot more accessible than back in 1950. So unless you have gotten raped or need one for a medical reason, there's no excuse for an "accidental" pregnancy and abortion anymore. Stop with the stupid excuses if you're not responsible enough to handle the consequences of sex.)

I am a strong woman who doesn't need the label of "feminist." I've never heard of a strong male describing himself as a "masculinist" and that also would cause issues among the feminist society because then men are the cause of inequality and a million other issues would come about with men labeling themselves as such. But it's somehow okay for women to do so? Just never men because they're men and that's not okay for them to blah blah blah because they're men. Someone explain how that's okay, but whatever.

Feminism in today's age isn't useful, it isn't pushing us forward, and it's actually keeping us back from uniting as a nation. Has anyone realized that feminism is really dividing us more and more with every single claim the feminist society brings forth? Has anyone realized that by claiming men hold too much power or that things aren't equal really causes more issues that don't exist in the first place? There is no "war on women" and if you truly believe there is, I feel sorry for you. I am so sorry that you feel the need to be a victim when you have an unbelievable amount of rights in this nation that other women on the other side of the world can only dream of having. Again, if there was such a strong inequality among the two genders, I really don't see how the (somehow) beloved (to some) Hillary would be running for the presidency as a woman! If gender inequality truly existed as much as feminists claimed it did, now wouldn't she be unable to run a campaign because biologically she is a female? Crazy.

So thank you, if you read all the way down. Thank you for letting me express my opinion, even if it's different than yours. Thank you for letting me use my first amendment right to speak my mind. And thank you for respecting my thoughts on the matter, without name-calling or telling me that I'm uneducated. I'm glad you took your time out to see another perspective and that you may not truly know what your cause is actually about.

This country has many beautiful freedoms for all of its citizens (the experience is what YOU do with it) and I hope you see that a little more clearly.

Cover Image Credit: telegraph.co.uk

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No, I Don't Have To Tell You I'm Trans Before Dating You

Demanding trans people come out to potential partners is transphobic.
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In 2014, Jennifer Laude, a 26-year-old Filipina woman, was brutally murdered after having sex with a U.S. marine. The marine in question, Joseph Scott Pemberton, strangled her until she was unconscious and then proceeded to drown her in a toilet bowl.

Understandably, this crime triggered a lot of outrage. But while some were outraged over the horrific nature of the crime, many others were outraged by a different detail in the story. That was because Jennifer Laude had done the unspeakable. She was a trans woman and had not disclosed that information before having sex with Pemberton. So in the minds of many cis people, her death was the price she paid for not disclosing her trans status. Here are some of the comments on CNN's Facebook page when the story broke.

As a trans person, I run into this attitude all the time. I constantly hear cis people raging about how a trans person is "lying" if they don't come out to a potential partner before dating them. Pemberton himself claimed that he felt like he was "raped" because Laude did not come out to him. Even cis people that fashion themselves as "allies" tend to feel similar.

Their argument is that they aren't not attracted to trans people, so they should have a right to know if a potential partner is trans before dating them. These people view transness as a mere physical quality that they just aren't attracted to.

The issue with this logic is that the person in question is obviously attracted to trans people, or else they wouldn't be worried about accidentally going out with one. So these people aren't attracted to trans people because of some physical quality, they aren't attracted to trans people because they are disgusted by the very idea of transness.

Disgust towards trans people is ingrained in all of us from a very early age. The gender binary forms the basis of European societies. It establishes that there are men and there are women, and each has a specific role. For the gender binary to have power, it has to be rigid and inflexible. Thus, from the day we are born, we are taught to believe in a very static and strict form of gender. We learn that if you have a penis, you are a man, and if you have a vagina, you are a woman. Trans people are walking refutations of this concept of gender. Our very existence threatens to undermine the gender binary itself. And for that, we are constantly demonized. For example, trans people, mainly women of color, continue to be slaughtered in droves for being trans.

The justification of transphobic oppression is often that transness is inherently disgusting. For example, the "trans panic" defense still exists to this day. This defense involves the defendant asking for a lesser sentence after killing a trans person because they contend that when they found out the victim was trans, they freaked out and couldn't control themselves. This defense is still legal in every state but California.

And our culture constantly reinforces the notion that transness is undesirable. For example, there is the common trope in fictional media in which a male protagonist is "tricked" into sleeping with a trans woman. The character's disgust after finding out is often used as a punchline.

Thus, not being attracted to trans people is deeply transphobic. The entire notion that someone isn't attracted to a group of very physically diverse group of people because they are trans is built on fear and disgust of trans people. None of this means it is transphobic to not be attracted to individual trans people. Nor is it transphobic to not be attracted to specific genitals. But it is transphobic to claim to not be attracted to all trans, people. For example, there is a difference between saying you won't go out with someone for having a penis and saying you won't go out with someone because they're trans.

So when a cis person argues that a trans person has an obligation to come out to someone before dating them, they are saying trans people have an obligation to accommodate their transphobia. Plus, claiming that trans people are obligated to come out reinforces the idea that not being attracted to trans people is reasonable. But as I've pointed out, not being attracted to trans people supports the idea that transness is disgusting which is the basis for transphobic oppression.

The one scenario in which I would say a trans person should disclose their trans status is if they are going to have sex with someone and are unsure if their partner is attracted to whatever genitals they may have. In that case, I think it's courteous for a trans person to come out to avoid any awkwardness during sex. But even then, a trans person isn't "lying" if they don't come out and their partner is certainly not being "raped."

It is easy to look at the story of Jennifer Laude and claim that her death was due to the actions of one bigot. But it's more complicated than that. Pemberton was the product of a society that told him that disgust towards trans people was reasonable and natural. So when he found out that he accidentally slept with a trans woman, he killed her.

Every single cis person that says that trans people have to come out because they aren't attracted to trans people feeds into the system that caused Jennifer Laude's death. And until those cis people acknowledge their complicity in that system, there will only be more like Jennifer Laude.

SEE ALSO: Yes, You Absolutely Need To Tell Someone You're Trans Before Dating

Cover Image Credit: Nats Getty / Instagram

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7 Hilariously Dramatic Reactions To Trump's Presidency

Funny Liberal Reactions From When Trump Won the Presidency

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Before I got to Villanova's campus, I found myself in a group chat with other conservative future Villanovians. One of our conversations was about how our peers reacted to the result of the 2016 presidential election. Here are 7 of the most over dramatic ones!

1. "Somebody called me a racist b**** because I said I wasn't sad after the 2016 election." -MK

Come on people. You yell at us for stereotyping everyone and you're doing the same thing!

2. "My school was almost shut down because teachers were 'emotionally unstable' for the whole week [after the election]." -CS

This is just plain over dramatic...

3. "A teacher at my sister's school brought a 'Congratulations Hillary' banner the day before the election, then cried the day after." -NK

Adults crying over politics... very mature.

4. "We didn't have family Christmas one year because my aunt refused to be in a house with Trump supporters." -SH

haha. I don't really know what to say to this...

5. "The day after the election our principal made an announcement that we should be kind because 'it was a sensitive day for everyone' and whoever wore a Trump hat was sent to the office and written up." -CS

Schools really gotta quit pushing their liberal views on everyone.

6. "For AP Gov we took a trip to DC and all the liberals were crying when a bunch of us wore Trump hats." -MR

Chill out guys come on.

7. "I wore a Trump hat to school after the election and people kept trying to rip it off my head and kept calling me racist." -JB

Very mature guys.

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