Cheaters historically were seen as awful people who are selfish and were shamed for it accordingly. Someone who up-and-left their significant other without breaking up with them would be seen as a horrible person. Why? Because nobody did it. Dating in previous generations had much higher, and better, standards. Nowadays? Well, that’s a different story.
These days, people want perfect. There is no such thing as perfect, and there never will be. As a former professional model who spent years on runways, being in photo shoots, and I know that almost every photo you see of someone on social media is not a representation of themselves. Angles, lighting, filters, makeup, and editing all matter. Anyone of these will instantly make you look better or worse. Since we see all the perfect parts of people on social media, and even dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, people have begun to expect perfection from a relationship.
Your Mr. or Mrs. Perfect does not exist and will never exist.
You will fight, you will get jealous, you will be upset, you will do something stupid, and your partner will do something stupid. That’s just life. Now the majority of a healthy relationship will be happy, but we are humans. Anyone who can’t put up with you in your sweatpants doesn’t get to see you in your favorite dress.
It is completely unfair that women who are sexually active, no matter if you are in a relationship or not, are always blamed and shamed. However, these days everyone can, and should, put their foot down when it comes to hooking up. These days seeing someone actually just means hooking up. I have met so many men who refuse to even speak to me if I say I’m not interested in hooking up with them. I’m not saying women are completely innocent. Some people won’t give you attention unless it’s the type of attention they want.
I cannot count on one hand the number of people who I end up “catching feelings for” — as if that is some horrible thing — who tell me they need to sleep around more before they “pick one.” I hate to break it to you, but there is no magical body count on this planet that will make you “ready” to be with someone. Sleeping around and friends with benefits are only a waste of time.
Our society has become a selfish one. I hear people say they want their careers to be successful before they consider dating someone, they want to have more fun before they ever try to meet someone, and the list goes on. People make it seem like dating someone is just going to slow them down and they have to settle down, which therefore means they can’t have fun. That is not true. You can date someone and pursue a career and be successful, you can be happy, you can have girls' night at the bar, just like guys can still go out and have a guys' night. Relationships are not a burden that slow you down. You can be with someone and not settle down.
My biggest issue is when people tell me I am too young to want a relationship, that I need to have fun first. As someone who has spent the majority of their time as an adult dating finding nothing, I’ve learned a lot. I know I don’t need a man to make me happy. However, I want to share my life with someone. I don’t date because I’m lonely, or to pass the time. I date someone because I enjoy them and I can see a future with them.
Many were surprised by the fact that Barbara and George Bush were married for 73 years. The former first lady married the first man she kissed, and they met when they were young teenagers. Those who have followed the Bush family, no matter what your political beliefs are, will tell you they had a love for each other like no other. It’s unheard of for people to be married so long and to be so happily married. Maybe there is something to just letting it happen when you meet somebody, instead of wrapping yourself up in misguided expectations.