Missing someone...
It can be constant—a feeling that never quite leaves you, a feeling that sits in your stomach all day. Or you can go days, weeks, months and even years without thinking about them, and then all of a sudden it hits you.
Your song comes on, you visit the place you both loved, you find an old shirt of theirs or a picture of the two of you when times were better, easier and happier. It happens. Missing people in your life is an every day battle. Sometimes, I find myself missing people I was never very close to anyway, but their personality and charm is so distinct and unique that I just crave their presence or sense of humor.
There are people in my life that I feel like I cannot go a day without seeing or hearing their voice. Sometimes, (more like all the time) I miss the boy I have the biggest, most annoying crush on. His personality is like an instant pick me up. Always so sweet, while somehow managing to be a complete weirdo. I often feel so consumed by the thought of him, those emotions, all the memories and each possibility of the future, that I can't function. I can't do things without the thought of him getting in the way.
Sometimes, I miss people who are just down the road, like my grandma, or miles away like my dad. But the worst is when I miss people who are no longer with me. Those are the ones that leave me awake for hours at night, unable to move from bed, questioning, "Why me?" "Why now?" "Why that person?" "What am I supposed to learn from this?"
I find myself missing the way someone used to be, how they've changed and how they are different now. Also I find myself realizing there's nothing I can do about it, because sometimes people simply just grow apart.
I wake up one day to realize that the person I used to talk to everyday I actually haven't spoken to in months, or maybe a year, and then I wonder if it's my fault. I wonder if I'm the person who outgrew the other or changed.
It's inevitable though. Growth is a part of life, and death is the end of it. We have to accept it and move on. That's all we can do.
Let that love motivate you and not cripple you. Let that pain in and overcome it, so you can help someone who's dealing with the same thing—someone who needs your words of comfort right now, because at the end of the day, I do believe things happen for a reason. Every person put in your life has a purpose and a meaning, and all we can do is learn from them, and enjoy the moments with the people we love.
