It is an unspoken misconception that miscarriages and the loss of a stillborn child are not as traumatic, life-changing or heartbreaking as the loss of a “real” child. Unless you have personally experienced it or have been connected in some way to the aforementioned loss, it is much harder to fully comprehend the severity of the loss at hand. Though it is unconventional, the death of a child, no matter the age or time on Earth, is the loss of a child nonetheless and needs to be recognized as such.

Approximately 20 percent of pregnancies end in a miscarriage, which means on average 20 out of 100 expecting mothers lose their precious children before they even have the chance to hold them for the first time. That being said, more than 500,000 babies per year die before they are even fully developed or brought into this world. Stillbirth is far less common, yet still strikingly significant. Approximately 24,000 babies are stillborn in the United States each year. That is a combined total of near 524,000 lives lost before they had their first breath. These statistics are widely misunderstood and unknown, as miscarriages and stillbirths are brushed off as less severe as the loss of a “real” child. The problem, however, is that mindset blatantly disregards the truth that life begins at conception. Every single one of those lost babies were real children. Just because they were never held, or their families could not watch them grow up, does not lessen the blow of the loss or subdue the love for these precious angels.

Statistics aside, I feel personally and deeply compelled to bring awareness to the extent of these heartbreaking losses. A mother who has lost a baby to a miscarriage or stillbirth, is a mother who has lost a baby. Society has labeled miscarriage a taboo topic, partially due to the lack of understanding of the impact on both the mother and the family, and partially due to the discomfort felt in talking about a topic most people do not understand.

It is wrong to say or assume that a miscarried child does not significantly affect families. My baby sister would have been four years old this year. From the moment we first learned of her, we loved her. She had a beating heart, she was alive, and then she died. Her heart could not support her and God’s plan for her did not include living a day on this earth. But we love her nonetheless. I love her just as much as I love the other members of my family, I feel her absence, and I miss her every day. She is my sister and she is no less a member of my family because we never got to hold her. You are only doing a disservice to those who have experienced the same loss by assuming the loss is somehow not as important.

A child is a child no matter how long their stay on Earth. Who is to say that one life is more important than another, or that your heart cannot break over a loss solely because you never physically “met” someone? It is of the utmost importance that miscarriages and stillbirths become recognized as the true losses they are.

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001488.htm?PHPSESSID=6f07954a175182a7e3f923825ed2567ehttp://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/stillbirth/facts.html http://www.hopexchange.com/Statistics.htm