Whether you're dating to marry or not (and honestly, usually ~the one~ comes along when you least expect it), sooner or later you might find yourself in a relationship where you think, "huh, I could actually see this working out forever."
Whether this is in the honeymoon stage where you're all starry-eyed and start picturing the perfect life together, or after a few years and you've built such a great relationship you can't imagine life without them, there are a few mindsets that could ruin your relationship, and, if you're serious about the long-term, you need to ditch those mindsets ASAP.
1. The idea that your significant other is perfect.
Sorry, but they aren't. No one is perfect. In the honeymoon stage, it may seem like your S.O. can do no wrong, but if you keep up this mindset when they actually do make a mistake, it can be crushing.
You are not perfect and neither is your partner; both of you will screw up, you'll disagree on some things, and sometimes you wonder how on earth you two are actually together. Don't hold your boyfriend or girlfriend to the impossible standard of perfection; it isn't fair, and you'll end up really disappointed.
2. Don't dwell on the differences.
#1 brings me to #2. So your significant other is not the perfect man or woman you dreamed up. They don't agree with you all the time, they don't always offer to do the dishes, they are not Harry Styles; whatever it is, don't dwell on it. You can convince yourself that you are just too different to be together, and this will make you miserable.
Don't do this. If you're happy, if they make you happy, and your relationship is healthy, you can make it work despite how different you two are or how far they are from that perfect boyfriend or girlfriend you once dreamed up.
3. Selfishness has got to go.
When you're in a serious relationship, you have to think about another person, and not just yourself. And this is hard. Learning how to compromise and meet in the middle is important. If your friendship with an ex makes them uncomfortable, then you might have to make a sacrifice and choose who is more important to you; and it's so easy to say that if the roles were reversed you'd be cool with it, and tell them they're overreacting, but you do not get to choose how comfortable they are with situations like this.
When you're graduating college and looking for jobs you have to think about your significant other and what your goals are as a couple and how that plays into the job search.
What city do you both want to end up in? If you get jobs in different cities, how long will you do long distance, and who will give up their job or transfer when the time comes to move in together? It's a lot tougher than just thinking about your own future; you have to take into account someone else's too.
4. You're not always going to be right.
Learning when to admit you're wrong will save your relationship from unnecessarily prolonged fights. Learn how to own up to your mistakes. Learn how to agree to disagree. Learn that you cannot decide that you didn't hurt your significant other when they tell you that you did. Learn how to say sorry, and learn how to move on.
5. Love isn't enough.
As much as love is unexpected, it is also a choice. You have to choose to put your relationship before a lot of other things if you want it to work. You have to choose to forgive when necessary. You have to choose to work through the hard stuff instead of giving up, and trust me, it is not always the easy choice. Relationships are hard, especially if you want them to last, but if you do find that person, it is worth it.
