I don’t remember the first time I heard someone referred to as “gay” in regard to their sexuality. Until I really understood what it meant, I think I only heard it come out of a bully’s mouth in the elementary school recess lots, and it was used to make fun of other kids because of missed social cues.
In fifth or sixth grade it got accusatory, boys calling other boys gay or using the f-word that we all joked about also meaning “a pile of sticks.” That was uncomfortable, no doubt, but no one really knew anyone who was gay so we didn’t say anything about it.
In high school when other students came out publicly (or were outed by someone else) it was always a thing. Everyone knew and everyone cared and everyone wanted to know everything about it. While it was never really acceptable to treat other people’s business this way, I suppose an exception can be made for juvenile curiosity.
But now it’s 2016 and we are adults and it’s time to move on from giving a flying flip about other people’s sexuality.
There are many reasons why someone’s sexuality should be of little to no importance to anyone but the people with whom they have relationships, but I think one of the utmost is that no one in the world would want to be criticized for their sexuality (or anything about themselves, for that matter) if the tables were turned at any point in time.
This, my friends, is the Golden Rule, that peaceful message that all of our second-grade teachers had on a multi-color poster in their classroom. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
At the end of the day, we’re all people. The way you choose to love does not define who you are or your rank in society, it’s just part of who you are. There is no imaginary division between heterosexual and homosexual people, we’re all the same kind of human.
I live in a city where the LGBTQ community can enjoy a little more acceptance than elsewhere (or at least that’s my perception), and while that may give me a bit of a bias, I think the advances we have made are notable and should be celebrated. I asked a man in front of me at Starbucks last week where he got his skirt and if it came in navy, a first for me but an exciting an exhilarating moment.
That being said, we are leagues away from equality for all people. The world is changing, whether you like it or not, and gender/sexuality is another piece of personal identity that people are choosing to take control of.
In the spirit of apathy regarding the beliefs and lifestyles of others, it’s important to add that I don’t think it’s realistic to expect an absolute ideological shift in everyone. Your beliefs are your own, but that goes for everyone. What happens behind closed doors isn’t subject to public approval (on both sides of the spectrum), but the way we treat each other on a daily basis is the groundwork for building a stronger, more loving, and less violent society.
I’ve never struggled with or questioned my sexuality, but if I had I think I would probably associate it with as much importance to my personality as the God I pray to. I can understand why religion makes people wary of this issue, but I will never see the rationality behind hatred and violence toward people who choose to love (and live) differently. There’s a difference between disapproving of someone’s lifestyle and condemning it. Jesus used to wash the feet of prostitutes in his own home, so you can learn to hug your gay cousin at Christmas dinner and refrain from making side comments about his boyfriend.
The Bible does speak against homosexuality, but it’s in a book called Leviticus and it also tells women to leave their homes and live in the wilderness during their monthly period. There’s a reason the Old and New Testaments are separate, and if you choose to continue to follow the rules outlined in Leviticus, I hope you’re following all of them (in the interest of fairness).
I will always advocate respect over all else when it comes to other people’s lifestyles and the way they choose to take on each day. The only person you can control is yourself; nothing you say will make someone change their sexuality to meet your expectations. So the next time you wake up to start a new day, think about how you want people to treat you and then treat others the exact same way.
