Recently, there have been some negative articles and videos circulating the internet surrounding the idea of marriage equality. These articles have always existed, but recently, they've been popping up more often and harming and offending my loved ones. Specifically, the stances that these articles and videos take are the Catholic Church's view on whether gay couples should have children or not. One video in particular that I saw took pride in the fact that they spoke about the subject in a positive way, but even though the speaker was kind and offered "acceptance" to the gay community, the further he went in his speech, the more angry I felt.

I should start out by saying that I am a religious person. Granted I am not as religious as I used to be and that wholeheartedly has to do with the argument of marriage equality within the church. I was never Catholic, but I have several friends who are, and the Christian views on marriage equality don't stray far from that of the Catholic views. Catholics are just more hardcore, as I like to say.

There are many things that the speaker brought up that brought me to a raging fury. For example, he claims that surrogacy and in vitro fertilization are the same as rape and prostitution. I'm struggling to come up with something to say in response to this due to the fact that it is outrageous that these things should be compared. The Catholic Church believes that sex is for bonding and babies and that any other means to have a baby is a sin, and that is why gay couples should not have children. But in this belief, this is not only singling out those who are having "same-sex experiences," as they call it, they are also singling out those who are infertile, or have trouble having children. This whole argument is just absurd. He goes on to speak about how we should not support contraception. That we should exercise "self-control, not birth control." Okay, that's fine. You have your opinions. But, you know that there are kids out there who will break the rules because, guess what? No one is perfect. And since his argument is that having children as a part of a straight marriage is the only acceptable way to have a child, then why not shouldn't we take steps to prevent that from happening to the younger people? But that's an argument for another time.

The argument that I would like to focus on is that "your experience is not your identity," which is what the speech I mentioned earlier revolved around. This, of course, is in reference to "same-sex experiences." And I really dislike that phrase, because what that phrase is saying is that your homosexual feelings are just a phase, just as we also experience the feeling of hunger, hatred, or sadness. Now, get ready, because I'm going to drop some huge news on you.

Being homosexual is not a phase.

I know, it's crazy, right? It's a way of life? Not a passing moment? I know, it's insane. Just as heterosexual experience love for those of the opposite sex their entire life, homosexuals experience love for those of the same sex for their whole life. It is not a phase.

So, my argument to "your experience is not your identity" is that it is your experience that makes your identity.

Let's take a step away from the marriage equality dispute for a moment and focus on that argument from a different perspective. Four and a half years ago, my father passed away from colon/rectal cancer. It is an event that shook my entire life. The world that I once knew was shattered and I had to rebuild myself. I became a strong independent woman that is not afraid of speaking her mind (most times) and death does not shake me like it used to. Death didn't make sense to me before. I didn't understand it. But now that I have witnessed it first hand, I know that it's a natural part of life and I know that it can strike at any moment. That experience is not my identity. I don't walk around moping about my dead father saying, "Oh, woe is me." But, that experience made my identity. Without that event happening in my life, I wouldn't be the person that I am today.

If you've been through a lot because you've come out as a homosexual, that makes your identity. You are what your experiences have made you. So, the argument that your experience is not your identity can just fly right out the window because it doesn't make sense. You would not be the person you are today without the experiences that you have had.

Now, before you start throwing Bible verses at this article pointing out why all of this is wrong like, "If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable," let's take a look at some other verses that have changed with the time. As time changes, life changes. For example, in that same chapter (Leviticus 20, if you want to follow along), the Bible goes over a few rules such as, "If you commit adultery, you shall be put to death. Or, if you curse your father and mother, you shall be put to death." Or, this is a good one, "If a man has sexual relations with a woman during her monthly period, he has exposed the source of her flow, and she has also uncovered it. Both of them are to be cut off from their people." If you don't believe that these verses exist, I'm looking at an NIV version. Later, in Psalm 137, you can find, "Happy is the one who seizes your infants / and dashes them against the rocks."

There are so many other outdated laws in our country and verses in the Bible because of the fact that it is thousands of years old. So, why are we so stuck on that one part? Is it because it makes people uncomfortable? I don't see anyone making a riot about divorce, even though it as well is also stated in the Bible that divorce is a sin. I don't see anyone picking up rocks to stone the adulterer across the street because that's also what was stated in the Bible as proper protocol. I also don't see children being put to death for cursing their parents.

Why can't we all just move on, accept that the Bible is old, and change our views and laws to fit with the time? Let everyone's experiences make their identity in a positive way as opposed to a negative one.