As my winter break has been winding down to its last days, I found myself taking advantage of Netflix's new January additions and watching How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days for only the millionth time. Whether I seriously can't get enough of Matthew McConaughey or I still feel I have something to learn from the movie, I don't know.
As I watched myself make a dent in my mother's favorite potato chips, I had an epiphany: that as accurate as Kate Hudson's purposeful wrongdoings are, there is a necessary, updated list that should be broadcasted towards all millennials.
Although the film was premiered not so long ago (2003 to be exact), our society's dating life is currently warped within social media profiles and incredibly confusing snapchat DM's. Boys are far more intrigued with girls' Instagram profiles than handbags, like Kate Hudson's.
After a quick bite and a couple of drinks, Kate Hudson elegantly, yet oh so purposely, left her purse in McConaughey's apartment, only to leave him bewildered and astonished.
Before you start to question the legitimacy of my article, let it be known that I have interviewed 8 lucky male millennials that have brainstormed and agreed on 10 things that female millennials routinely commit. These 10 things are almost 100% guaranteed proof to make a boy run for the hills.
My interviewees have both experienced and heard of hookup scare stories that exhibit living proof on how some females can make some mistakes along the way and give off the wrong impression.
Hold the next snap, the next text and the next drunk booty call outside of a bar. Here are 10 simple things one female millennial can do that will make their hookup almost immediately press "Block" on their contact.
1. The constant Snapper
These are the girls that love to keep in contact throughout the day...every hour of the day...every minute of the day...and so on. A guy loves to know that a girl cares about him and thinks of him as the day goes on.
However, if the girl is consistently checking in on his daily routine, he's going to feel constantly looked upon. We girls love to catch up with our boys but make sure you're letting your boy catch up on his own life too.
2. The Insta commenter
These are the few, but very present, females who find it in their hearts to comment on nearly every post their boy publishes on Instagram (or Facebook even?). It's one thing if you're in a serious relationship with the guy for years, but if you just met him, give it a break.
No guy wants a brand-new hookup to comment on a picture with their mother commenting "Can't wait to meet her!". Hold the comments until you really know his friends and family well. It'll save you from giving off the wrong vibe.
3. The Overly Jealous
This is a classic don't that can easily be misperceived way too quickly. However, it can be plain and simple once a girl looks at the situation outside of the box. If you and your boy are clearly in an "exclusive, dating, feelings-involved, Netflix 'n chill" thing, meanwhile he's down your sorority sister's throat at a party, that's clearly not okay and worth a (sober) conversation.
However, if he's out having a good time at a bar that's a couple blocks away from you with his friends and some girls, hold back the assumptions and trust him. If he's stated he has feelings for you and is willing to go monogamous, have faith that he won't get involved with someone at a party. The more you trust him, the more he'll be attracted to your maturity.
4. The Touchy-Feely
Let it be known that some boys absolutely love the PDA. But for the (majority of) boys who prefer to not make out in front of their fraternity brothers at a chill smoke session, hold off on your urge to kiss his neck while he smokes a J. It's one thing if you're playfully giving him small signs of affection through the night. If you're all over him, he'll (most likely) get over you.
5. The Social Media Air Head
Ah, yes. Here's to the girls that care more about their Insta likes and snap stories than they do about actually having a good time and embracing the moment. No guy wants a girl who is consistently on their phone, asking for opinions on their newly published Insta, taking selfies and is more about the legitimacy of their Insta story than the legitimacy of their current relationship. When you're with a guy, put the phone down and look up. Unless your hookup is Mark Zucker-B, he does not and will not care to hear about your social media drama.
5. The Ghoster
So, you think you're playing "hard to get" and it's working? Wrong. If he's clearly trying to get in contact with you, it's one thing to answer 2 seconds after he texts. It's another to neglect his text and post a Snap story in which he will clearly see the following hour. Don't leave him with a Read Receipt. The more you push away, the more he'll push back and look for someone else who actually cares.
6. The Night Owl
These are the girls that refuse to respond to any text or snap during the day, but once they're drunk and out and about, they're texting away. The guy will clearly get the impression that you're only looking to hang at night when you're half-conscious and out at a party.
If you set that mood, he'll set that mood right back. If he's genuinely asking how you are during the day, take that as a sign of respect and affection. Unless you're nocturnal, keep up with him during the day too (and when you're sober).
7. The Family Follower
Helloooo (and goodbye) to the girls who press "Follow" to all relatives of their newly hooked-up boy. Did this boy tell you to friend request his mother? No? Oh, so, you're clearly committing social suicide. Hold off on the fam......for another couple of years. Unless you're really close with the guy, don't go psycho to meet the "In-Laws".
8. The Ex Stalker
So, you heard he had a long-term girlfriend not so long ago. He finally opened up to you and shared his ex's name with you. Before you know it, you're stalking his ex's Instagram day in and day out. But hold up, freeze on the comparisons between his ex's chest and your legs. The run he had with his ex has clearly parted ways. The past is in the past. Now that's he's on to bigger and better things, it's time to respect his past and let his history go, just as he respectfully did.
9. The Historian
These are the girls who are consistently bringing up their past hookups and exes with their boy. Unless it's asked, a boy does not want to hear about the time you and your ex went on a vaca to Boca. As the Buddha states, let that shit go.
10. The Mom
If you are consistently down the boy's throat to brush his teeth, shower and get to class, he'll be reminded of his mother. It's great to show him you care, but don't mother him into craziness.