When I first met my boyfriend at a friend’s birthday party, I didn’t know I would be dating a guy who was going to boot camp and our summer love story would be cut short. We decided to keep dating through boot camp even though we were only writing letters to each other. There was so much to learn, and I’m still learning just as he is about to learn what it means to be in a military relationship. But the twist is….I am in college while he is still in training. This life we chose together is a balancing act. There was so much I did not know about this life he decided for himself that I am now a part of.

I did not know how I was going to handle the first three months of him being gone while I started my college career.

The first month was hard. I’m not going to lie. I would stare at my mailbox waiting for the mailman to get there so I could run to it and look for a letter, and I would be disappointed if there was nothing from him. I was also busy helping a local band with their marching band season. I would long to tell him about how many days went but would only to be able write him and it was not the same. When there wasn’t a letter, I thought he changed his mind about us. I would over think. Then I started college during into the second month he was gone. I got three letters by this point; he was almost done with his journey, and I just started mine. Everyone is walking around campus with their guy and eating lunch with him, and all you want is a phone call or letter from yours. You end up wishing he was there to share them with you but he is having his own experiences that you will never have. Yes, he might be going to college in the fall after boot camp but he still won’t go through the same thing as you.

I did not know how I would manage my time while he was home and still fit my schoolwork in.

Being a music education student, I knew that I would be busy. Between practicing my instrument and learning to play piano for my degree, I still ended up missing him when I was busy. I tried to stay busy by getting involved. It just wouldn’t work, I missed him so much. I was lucky when he graduated boot camp because it was my fall break. I was able to go for family day and graduation, but I had school still that Monday. I also had my first college band concert that week and I was so happy that he was able to come to it. Out of his 10-day leave, I spent eight of the 10 days with him. I was so distracted those days because I couldn’t wait to see him and talk to him.

I did not know how hard it would be so hard to say “see you later” over and over again.

I hate saying “see you later.” It’s the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I’ve said “see you later” about four times now, and for the most recent, I got to take him to the bus station by myself. I did not know how hard it would be to watch him walk away or wake up that morning not knowing when I’ll get to do that again. I usually don’t cry when I know I have to say “see you later” but I did this time. Plus I had a full day of class that wouldn’t end until 6 p.m. that night. (#musicmajorproblems) It’s never going to get easier seeing him walk away. It’s never going to get easier not knowing when I will get to see him again.

I did not know how I would be treated by others because I date someone in the military.

Being a girlfriend to anyone in the military is never easy. You don’t get benefits. You can’t live with them on base. Sometimes they won’t even let you sign your guy off base because you aren’t family. Some of the moms look down on us. They don’t see us sticking around, but that’s because they still see their child as a kid, not a grown man in the military. My college friends look at me like I’m crazy sometimes for dating him. They don’t understand how it is to be in love with a guy whose career path is different from the guys around here.

But here is one thing I did learn…

I learned that he needed me more than I thought he would. The idea of having someone back home waiting for him and cheering him on from his corner helped him. With this I learned that our relationship was a lot stronger than most couples. We have been through a lot for only dating a year. Your guy is going to need you. You might only be a girlfriend but he is going to need you to be there every step of the way.

The point is, it’s hard. This balancing act between my music education major and his military life is tough but no matter what college throws at me or what my boyfriend’s military career throws at him, it’s going to be hard. None of this is easy but I found a great group of girls who are girlfriends, fiancees and wives who are with some amazing guys, and they have helped out a lot with all the questions I did not have the answers to. So find people who can help you find the answers and try to stay busy no matter how much you miss him. He'll be home soon.