We all have one aspect that others embarrass us about. We are made to feel as if these things define us and dictate who we are. Maybe we're teased about it or even lose friends because of it. But specifically, I'm talking about mental illnesses. More often than not, those with mental illnesses are looked at differently, and maybe even treated differently. The stigma surrounding mental illnesses affects people in more ways than one, but why should someone be ashamed to have a mental illness? Why should I feel embarrassed or as if I am any less of a person than someone who doesn't have a mental illness? It is fantastic to see more and more people who do not have a mental illness being supportive of those who do; however, they do not fully understand the struggle.
I was first diagnosed with situational anxiety disorder at age 15 and eventually diagnosed with major depressive disorder at age 16. When I was first diagnosed and began medication, I felt uncomfortable with myself. I felt odd having people know I took medication to feel "normal." Some days I couldn't get out of bed or my "moods" would be so hard to manage that I felt I would bother others. I get it: I can be moody sometimes, but it's not always something I can control. My depression has affected me in many ways, and it really hit hard last semester. I felt alone and out of control, but I never thought I'd feel like I did toward the end of the semester.
I started to feel as if I annoyed people. I was told I needed to "be happy and stop being so moody" because it was "bringing them down." It was then that I really became bothered by what they said to me. This person who I trusted, confided in, and loved as a friend told me I was bothering them with my depression. My struggle with my depression became a problem in our friendship, but it wasn't anyone's fault. My mental illness is not something I can necessarily control.
Yes, I have struggled to manage my depression. Yes, I often have more bad than good days, but it will only get better with time. I try to stay positive and take life one day at a time. However, having a friend tell me my depression is bothering them hurts. It brought me down a bit more that day, leading me to feel unsupported and unable to talk about it to them anymore.
For anyone dealing with depression, let alone any mental illness, support is key when it comes to managing their illness. It's not easy to deal with it on our own, but it is even more difficult when we attempt to confide in someone and they completely put it down. I've been told it's "not as big a deal as I make it seem" and that "I cause it (my depression) to get worse," but in reality, they just don't understand.
They don't understand what it's like to not be able to get out of bed and face life, or to feel as if you're in a room full of people screaming out for help but no one can hear you. They don't understand what it's like to have suicidal thoughts that you thoroughly debate in your mind day after day until you eventually break down and attempt it. They don't get it, but I don't expect them to.
For those without mental illnesses, you may not understand what those with mental illnesses deal with on a daily basis. It's not easy to understand, as most of the time we don't even understand it ourselves, but all we really need from you is two things: love and support. We need you to love us unconditionally and support us just as much on our bad days as you do on our good days. Don't make us seem small and make us feel ashamed for our illness. And to those with mental illnesses, it has never defined you and it never will. You are stronger than your mental illness and with support and love from others, you will be able to manage it and get through the tough days.
