I overheard a radio conversation the other day discussing the issue of Can Men and Women Just Be Friends? which prompted the idea for this article.
Many people have different opinions about this. Some say, "yes, of course! My best friend is a guy!" Others think it is completely crazy. Someone is bound to develop romantic feelings and throw off the whole dynamic of the relationship.
This is a complicated topic. So, it deserves a complicated answer. In short, it depends.
Men and Women can be friends. We've seen it happen. I'm sure we all have friends of the opposite sex who have been there for us and have helped shape us into who we are today.
I think the key is in our definition of friendship. Surely you can be Facebook friends with plenty of the opposite sex. There's also that BFF that you'd be hard pressed to find a picture of you without them in it. Somewhere along the line though, a man and woman friendship can enter into a "danger zone."
I know those of you who have a close friend of the opposite sex are already thinking up your response articles. If men and women are to be friends, they must safeguard their hearts.
The danger zone hits when the friendship becomes so emotionally invested that you are not free to date without it affecting the current relationship of your opposite sex friend--or that of your new significant other. Perhaps your cross-gender friend wanted to bear the title of your boyfriend or girlfriend. Or perhaps there is a rift because you no longer have time for them, or your significant other is concerned with the closeness between the two of you. Either way, building a deep platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex is likely to, one day, crash and burn.
Why would it end in such turmoil, you ask? Look ahead to the future. The majority of us will likely end up married. It would be completely inappropriate then to have a weekly coffee date with your best cross-gender friend. I can guarantee that your spouse would not be too keen of this idea. Not because they are possessive, but because they married you in hopes that they would become your absolute best friend, no competition.
Marriage can be tough (not that I'd know) and if you want a deep, lasting relationship, sacrifices must be made. When things get tough, your spouse should be the person you turn to. Our world is full of temptations, and the devil will find any way to ruin a marriage, even in the guise of a wonderful friendship. Not to say you should ignore any member of the opposite sex that you are not in a relationship with, but you must build the habits now that you wish to bring into a marriage.
So yes, men and women can be friends, but there eventually comes a point where, unless they are in a committed relationship, the depth of that friendship reaches a limit. For your sake, for their sake, and for the sake of your future marriage.
