To The All The Men That Let Women Down, From One Pissed Off Girl

To The All The Men That Let Women Down, From One Pissed Off Girl

I'm sick of waiting. I'm tired of your bullshit and lies.
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This one is to all the men that have let their women down and to all the other girls who are fed up with their bullshit.

I'm so sick of being told something then having a man let me down or lie to my fucking face. I'm sick of waiting. I'm tired of your bullshit and lies. You can either man up or sit the fuck down, so I can see the guy behind you. And honey, let's face it...there's always a guy behind you, whether you know it or not. I'm so tired of hearing, "But baby...I didn't mean to hurt you." Well, obviously you fucking did.

I'm angry lately. I'm angry that you can be perfect 95% of the time, then fuck up so badly the other 5%. I'm angry that this must be how your ex felt...being betrayed and tricked again and again. That this is how she must've felt when I came along and I sympathize with that, which pisses me off too. Did you give her hope, like you gave it to me? Only to crush it and throw her and my hope away, like a piece of trash.

I'm angry that everyone seems to be right about you. They told me how this would go and I have no one to blame but myself.

I'm angry that I hate you on some level. I hate you so much that I go from being hurt to feeling literally nothing for you. And that scares me. Because I planned on spending my life with you. I planned on so much with you and you planned on nothing with me. I hate you with every fiber of my being and yet, I can't tear myself away from you. I must be a masochist. There is no other alternative explanation.

I'm angry that she won a battle, even if it finally got you to move forward. I'm angry that I wasn't enough to cause this change, but rather it was her. It always centers around her. She's the "mother of your children," I fucking get it, but I'm supposedly your future, but I get left in the past. Don't I matter? Why is it always me you choose to hurt and leave behind? I'm angry that you always leave me behind. I'm angry for being so pathetic that I still feel pain when you leave me behind.

I'm angry that you are with her right now and not me. I'm angry and you both can go fuck off because I'm sick of it.

I'm angry that you have me so confused over my own feelings, that it's almost like being back with my ex, who took so much from me. Things I didn't want to give.

I'm angry I had sex with you and that I loved you, when you were lying to me for three months. I'm so angry because I feel used. Ironic, isn't it? I'm the one who was used and left, when I thought it'd be her.

But you know what causes me the most anger? The fact that despite everything you've done and all the pain you caused me, I still love you. I feel pure rage at how you fucked me over, but my heart still calls for you. It still wants you, even when I beg for it to let go. Even when I'm trying so hard to stop loving you because I can't take this fucked up situation anymore.

I may have gotten you to finally leave, but I lost a part of myself in all of this. I lost a piece of my love, my respect, and trust for you.

I think I may have lost my heart because I feel no heartbeat, my pulse is gone. I don't really feel anything anymore. And honestly, I'm not even sure if I feel anger...because I expected this.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.

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Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

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Actual Nice Guys Do Exist, But We Don't Come Easy

We are out there, but there are reasons you can't find us.

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Guys hear it all of the time from their female counterparts, especially good guys: "My guy is rude and we're going to break up," or we hear, "Now that I'm single and have had my heart broken, I'm wondering if there really are nice guys out there." Yeah, well there's something to this and it might surprise you.

First off, the numbers game, because if you have read any of my articles, you know I like to use numbers and statistical data to make my points and arguments. Here is one that will blow your mind: as of 2017, the last time they actually processed the numbers, we had 7.53 billion people on Earth. 7.53 BILLION! That's a real number-look it up! Google it! I promise it is there and let's face it, Google is so advanced now, it finds everything and practically knows everything. Dig a little deeper in this and you will find that 49.5% of the world are females. That means that there are more guys than girls on planet Earth and the numbers game is actually more in your favor than ours.

So, what's the problem? Well, there are a few avenues we can take in asking why. First and foremost, the standards you have set might not be the same kind of standards that are truly in your heart. It's true: girls like bad guys for whatever reason, but c'mon you don't marry the bad guy if you really want it to last. Secondly, you might be settling with that kind of attraction and you're better than that and you probably don't even realize it!

That is a truly scary part because chances are, you're worth way more than that and you just haven't realized your self-worth, at least on the surface. That's not bad though, that's part of life. Finally, it isn't all about you and your faults, nice guys have them too.

We've been burned by girls we've adored, and we've been hurt by them too.

We have experienced toxic relationships just like you have and you're not wanting to see guys like that. Chances are, you've already friend zoned a guy that has always wanted to date you or is really worth your time and you just didn't pay attention.

Timing is everything and if he isn't shy, he hasn't asked you out yet because he either has reservations that he's not the guy you're looking for at the moment or he's got his own stuff going on trying to better himself. These guys love being your friend, but chances are have wanted something better because he's already seen you on the other end of being in the same position he has. It's not that he isn't trying to be assertive, he would be. However, he's thinking "well even though she's my type, I'm clearly not hers" and that's a real thing, ladies.

Nice guys may not be jerks but that doesn't mean they are betas. Some of us like to hunt, fish, go to the beach, drive really fast, ride rollercoasters, shoot guns at a range, or going to the bar to have a couple of beers. There are a lot of alpha males that do mainly things (such as grow a beard and listen to metal music) and still are just genuinely nice.

Here's a huge disconnect in relationships: many women consider a nice man, is a weak man.

That's not true either. You cross a nice man, you'll know it and you'll see a different side of him when he's angry. He'll be temporarily the guy you broke up with before him. The difference is he'll apologize to you and actually mean it. You'll realize he was just mad and that was a temporary thing because in the back of your mind you understand that you finally achieved in getting what you were looking for.

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There are nice guys who fit both of that criteria that will adore you for who you are, spoil you in a way you've probably never experienced before, and love you as much as a boyfriend can that in some ways (not the creepy way) remind you of that care that your father has for you. Because ultimately that's what you want right — a guy you know your dad would like and an ultimately a guy that you'd be proud of introducing him to your dad? You don't want your dad second guessing your choice like when Brian Cranston gets pissed at his daughter for bringing James Franco home in "Why him."

What I'm saying is for whatever the reason you might not realize, you have absolutely been settling. I'm telling you to STOP! Stop settling and showing yourself you don't deserve better because you do. You want that cheesy happily ever after and ending you see in romcoms and Hallmark movies? Realize how valuable you are and what you can bring to a relationship with a nice guy. You're not settling by picking a nice guy if that's truly what you want, you're getting a forever, not a Friday.

Unless there's something special about you, people do tend to not open up too fast and there are reasons for that. If I do, then you're extremely special and when I mean extremely special, I'm talking you're a pearl in a mountain full of empty oyster shells. Sometimes I come off bored or disinterested. That means that I'm playing my hand or I'm debating on whether this is gonna go anywhere — try harder.

Nothing worth having is easy: you gotta fight for it.

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