To The All The Men That Let Women Down, From One Pissed Off Girl

To The All The Men That Let Women Down, From One Pissed Off Girl

I'm sick of waiting. I'm tired of your bullshit and lies.
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This one is to all the men that have let their women down and to all the other girls who are fed up with their bullshit.

I'm so sick of being told something then having a man let me down or lie to my fucking face. I'm sick of waiting. I'm tired of your bullshit and lies. You can either man up or sit the fuck down, so I can see the guy behind you. And honey, let's face it...there's always a guy behind you, whether you know it or not. I'm so tired of hearing, "But baby...I didn't mean to hurt you." Well, obviously you fucking did.

I'm angry lately. I'm angry that you can be perfect 95% of the time, then fuck up so badly the other 5%. I'm angry that this must be how your ex felt...being betrayed and tricked again and again. That this is how she must've felt when I came along and I sympathize with that, which pisses me off too. Did you give her hope, like you gave it to me? Only to crush it and throw her and my hope away, like a piece of trash.

I'm angry that everyone seems to be right about you. They told me how this would go and I have no one to blame but myself.

I'm angry that I hate you on some level. I hate you so much that I go from being hurt to feeling literally nothing for you. And that scares me. Because I planned on spending my life with you. I planned on so much with you and you planned on nothing with me. I hate you with every fiber of my being and yet, I can't tear myself away from you. I must be a masochist. There is no other alternative explanation.

I'm angry that she won a battle, even if it finally got you to move forward. I'm angry that I wasn't enough to cause this change, but rather it was her. It always centers around her. She's the "mother of your children," I fucking get it, but I'm supposedly your future, but I get left in the past. Don't I matter? Why is it always me you choose to hurt and leave behind? I'm angry that you always leave me behind. I'm angry for being so pathetic that I still feel pain when you leave me behind.

I'm angry that you are with her right now and not me. I'm angry and you both can go fuck off because I'm sick of it.

I'm angry that you have me so confused over my own feelings, that it's almost like being back with my ex, who took so much from me. Things I didn't want to give.

I'm angry I had sex with you and that I loved you, when you were lying to me for three months. I'm so angry because I feel used. Ironic, isn't it? I'm the one who was used and left, when I thought it'd be her.

But you know what causes me the most anger? The fact that despite everything you've done and all the pain you caused me, I still love you. I feel pure rage at how you fucked me over, but my heart still calls for you. It still wants you, even when I beg for it to let go. Even when I'm trying so hard to stop loving you because I can't take this fucked up situation anymore.

I may have gotten you to finally leave, but I lost a part of myself in all of this. I lost a piece of my love, my respect, and trust for you.

I think I may have lost my heart because I feel no heartbeat, my pulse is gone. I don't really feel anything anymore. And honestly, I'm not even sure if I feel anger...because I expected this.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To The Boy I Never Dated

Thanks for the memories.
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views

Dear Boy I Never Dated,

You know who you are. I just want to get a couple things off my chest.

First, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being my friend, my ally, and at one point an important part of my life. Despite the fact that our relationship never went past the friend stage, I will never regret the time I spent with you or the memories we made. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so we were meant to be in each other's lives. Sure, I could go on and say that you missed out, how I'm an awesome person and all that stuff but that wouldn't do anything. We're both awesome people. Us never being a couple could never take away from that.

Honestly, I still consider us to be friends no matter where life takes us. I'm only one text or Snapchat away.

I do want to make one thing clear: I've moved on. I don't care what you've thought in the past or what you've been told, I'm seriously over it. I've been over it, despite what you think. I'm over everything; the pointless drama, the rumors, the over-thinking, and the self-doubt. I no longer care that you weren't interested in me in "that way." Honestly, this all went down so long ago that I don't even remember everything that happened.

I've met new people, had new experiences, and grew as a person. You've even noticed that I've changed. I'm the not the same girl that pined for you all those years ago. I care about you, obviously, but I know where we stand. Neither one of us needs to deal with the what-ifs or maybe-some-days. We both deserve loving committed relationships where the person you're with is 100% invested in you and vice versa. So maybe I am a text away, but that doesn't mean I'm available anymore.

If there's one thing about people that can get you down is that we're always disappointing. Either we're disappointing other people or disappointing ourselves. It is way too easy to break your own heart. I was guilty of that I think. I got too optimistic and thought we were on some path to greatest when in reality we were just two young kids that enjoyed spending time together. When things didn't go in my favor, I probably placed the blame on you because I was upset.

It took time for me to reflect and finally accept that I wasn't perfect, either. Now, I don't think anyone was at fault. Whether it was bad timing, lack of compatibility, or maybe lack of maturity neither one of one did anything wrong. At the time, it seemed so horrible that we never even tried but when I look back it's not a big deal.

To be completely honest, I'm now glad we never dated. There is no more resentment, bitterness, or pettiness. I don't think there was any to begin with, but I apologize if there was. Our lives may be going toward separate paths, but they're both paths of greatest. I'm completely, absolutely happy with where I am in life and all I can say is that I wish the same for you. When our paths do cross again someday, I'll be more than happy to see you.

With (platonic) love,

The Girl You Never Dated


Cover Image Credit: freestocks.org

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Being Single Isn't Always A Bad Thing

"All the single ladies, Now put your hands up!"

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As someone who has been single for a few years now, I have learned a lot of things on my own that perhaps I didn't know when I was young and foolish. When it comes to being in high school, I think that sometimes, as girls, we desperately want that relationship that every other girl wish she had. We want that romantic relationship that we see in movies and TV shows or maybe everything we really want is the companion of someone else.

Before I started dating I remember telling myself that "Boys aren't my priority but having a boyfriend wouldn't hurt either!" I was in high school and wanted to feel like I was growing up and becoming an actual teenager. What teenage girl doesn't want a boyfriend?? However, when you are in high school you are immature. Relationships don't always work out and often they just never really end well or on the note that you would want them to. A few years down the line you realize your mistakes and where you went wrong and sometimes you wish you could go back and change it but realize that its way too late for that. Which was MY case, at least.

I personally believe that when you end a relationship it is always important to give it some time before you begin another one. Give yourself the time to heal and really sort out where you stand after. Perhaps it was an easy break-up and you're ready to have fun or you're totally heartbroken and need the time to grief and hurt. Whichever might be your case, it is okay to go through the different emotions. It takes some time to really process how you are feeling after a break-up. You might not want to show it and make it noticeable that it hurt you, but know that being single again does not mean you won't be able to find someone new again.

When you're single again you discover new things about yourself that you didn't know before. I feel like when you are in a relationship, sometimes one can focus so much time on their significant other and not enough time on themselves. Now having all that free time for yourself you can try that new sport that you really wanted to do without having to worry whether you would have enough time spent with your boyfriend. Now, I'm not saying it's a bad thing! We are all different and manage our time differently as well.

I have been asked multiple times "But don't you miss having that special someone?" and the answer is yes.

I do sometimes but I have been alone for quite a while to know now that I don't need a "special someone" to be happy in life. Regardless of whether I have somebody or not, I am happy and that's all that really matters to me. I think being single has personally really help me. I have matured, I have grown as an individual, and above all have really changed my mentality of what a relationship should be like. When I was younger, I would have done anything possible to have a relationship like the movies and make it very publicly known that I was taken! But now, I much rather keep my relationship status private because I have learned that as long as my significant other and I make each other feel special within each other, the world doesn't have to know but us.

That was cheesy, I know but it's very true!

Being a single lady opens up your eyes so much especially once you start growing up. You are independent, you have so much time for yourself that you can always try and check off the things of your very own bucket list! You explore the world without having to worry about anything. You try new things and even shock yourself and learn new things about yourself that you didn't know before. So no, you won't be "forever alone" just temporarily. But even then you will have your own company and what's better than knowing that you got your own back? So smile and be your own happiness!

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