Dear males,

My discomfort following your comment on my appearance is not an inability to take a compliment. My body is not your grounds for which to speak explicitly about.

My tendency to sway away from you if you’re walking towards me on the street is not me being rude or judgemental. It’s a safety instinct.

I’ve been catcalled from cars, apartment windows and unfortunately by people in close proximity as they pass me on the road. It’s not always your typical creep doing the catcalling either. Too many a time it’s drunk suburban dads thinking it’ll be “funny.” My safety is not a joke.

My request that our first date is somewhere public is not a conscious decision that you’re a predator. It’s a safety mechanism engrained within me. I have to assume you’re bad before I know you so I don’t end up like the girls on the news.

My decision to tell you I have a boyfriend when I don’t or give you a fake number is not me deciding to be snotty. It’s because you probably came off a little strange. It’s probably because I’m not interested, which I am allowed to be. You may not be deserving of a fake number, but I’ve been sent harassing messages by others to the point where I’ve had to block numbers. I’ve learned my lesson.

My choice to surround myself with females in your presence even after you and I have known each other for a while is yet another safety mechanism. I understand there are good guys out there, but I’ve been harassed by “friends.” Sexual assault so often happens between people who know each other.

If it helps you sleep at night to think I’m being “weird” or that I “get a rush out of turning men down” know that what helps me sleep at night is having my location shared with my friends and my door always locked.

I wish I could say I only take these precautions in the hope that none of these things will ever happen. Unfortunately, like nearly every woman in your life, I take these precautions because of events that have already occurred. If I haven’t gone through a specific instance, I know someone who has.

I don’t walk with my keys between my knuckles at night because I think I’m a ninja. I don’t go to the bathroom with my girlfriends to gossip. I don’t come up with codenames to signal I need to be removed from a stressful situation because it’s fun.

I do all these things because as a woman, I am aware I live in an unsafe world. Bad things happen all the time. If you must inflate your ego by screaming at me that not all men are bad, and you are one of the good ones, be my guest. But know that the true “good ones” understand that those rants don’t help anyone.

I know not all men are bad. But not all women get the chance to escape the bad ones. I live off the assumption that everyone is “bad” until proven “good” to protect myself in the vile world we live in.

If you are one of the good ones, you will understand and acknowledge my fear. If you are one of the good ones, you will realize that catcalling and sexual pickup lines are frightening for the receiving party. If you are one of the good ones you will respect when a girl is not interested. If you are one of the good ones, you will be an advocate for women and their safety.

Please don’t take this as a personal attack. Take this as a reality check that your best friend, your sister, your mom; any women in your life live through the same harsh reality that I do. Take this as an SOS, we need the "good ones" to help us fight to make this world a little safer.