Tonight is the 12th season premiere of "The Bachelorette" so grab your wine and curl up on the couch because apparently it's going to be "the most dramatic Bachelorette season yet." (Chris Harrison's words, not mine).
JoJo Fletcher, runner up on Ben Higgins' season of "The Bachelor," will begin her tenure as most eligible bachelorette and meet the 26 guys vying for her heart. We love JoJo. She's funny, successful, strong and gorgeous. Plus, she got to make out with Ben a lot so honestly, I'm really jealous.
Ahead of the premiere, let's get to know the men a little bit more. I already studied them three times, made a roster for my friends and I to keep track of them with and picked my "guys to watch." Just an observation, 75 percent of them are from Florida, California or Tennessee.
Prepare to be...intrigued. (All these guys look better on TV, by the way.)
1. Chase
Chase is 27 from Highlands Ridge, Colorado, he's a Medical Sales Representative and he's 6'3 (blessed). He has a tattoo of a lion on his rib cage (interesting), considers himself "laid back" and lists "The Chronicles of Narnia" as one of his all-time favorite movies. I really, really, really hope he isn't a jerk because he's adorable.
2. Grant
Grant is 27 from San Fransisco, he's a firefighter (swoon) and he's 6'2 (#nice). He claims to be good at making people smile, his greatest achievement is saving a life and his worst date memory was when the girl talked about Harry Potter for 20 minutes. If he dislikes Harry Potter, we have a problem.
3. Luke
Luke is 31 from Burnet, Texas, he's a war veteran and he's 6'1. He says he would do anything for love because he's a "trooper/team player." He also says he wants to have lunch with Mark Cuban, which is a Texan thing, and he wishes he could be POTUS for a day. Is anyone else feeling like he has the same smiling problem as Chandler Bing because I'm totally getting that vibe.
4. Derek
Derek is 29 from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, he's a commercial banker and he's 6'3 (#nicer). He admires Ben Franklin, he doesn’t want to be stranded on an island with cucumbers (which is completely normal, obviously), he’s afraid of "fluffy kittens" and according to him, all a man needs to survive is duct tape.
5. Jordan
Jordan is 27 from Chico, California, he's a former pro-quarterback, brother of Aaron Rodgers (QB of the Green Bay Packers) and he's 6'2. I think his brother is hotter but Jordan is still good looking. Considering his brother's star status, I think the show is really going to push for Jordan to make it far. So, I am officially calling it now - he will make it to the hometowns (final four) at least. He says the wildest thing he has ever done in the bedroom was install a flat screen without directions. I appreciate the humor, Jordan, props to you.
6. Ali
Ali is 27 from Santa Monica, California, he's a bartender and he's 5'8 (womp). He's afraid of bugs, bees and cockroaches specifically, and his favorite flower is, you guessed it, a rose. Other than that, the dude's profile is boring.
7. Wells
Wells is 31 (which is surprising considering he looks 21) from Nashville, he's a radio DJ and he's 6'0. One thing he will not do for love - get a cat. His ultimate date includes tacos, live music, wine and cheese on his front porch as Otis Redding plays. Talk about specific. He doesn't like pizza so he cannot be completely trusted. Still, he's cute.
8. Jake
Jake is 27 from Playa Vista, California, he's a landscape architect and he's 6'1. If he could have any superpower, he would fly. Mainly, he says, because L.A traffic is horrific. In high school, he had spikes in his hair, which is a fun visual.
9. James Taylor
10. Daniel
Daniel is 31 from Vancouver, Canada, he's a male model and is 6'1. He doesn't have any tattoos for "the same reason you don't put stickers on a lambo." I appreciated this joke until he referred to his body as a Lamborghini again. He was asked if he felt comfortable in a swimsuit and he replied with "why have a lambo if you park it in the garage?" Constantly referring to your body as an expensive sports car is not exactly attractive, Daniel.
11. Jonathan
Jonathan is 29 from Vancouver, Canada (yes, that's right, two Canadians this season), he's a technical sales representative and he's 6'1. He has a few tattoos...including one of his grandma on his inner arm. He said if he could be someone else for the day he would be "someone incredibly poor in a third world country to see what it’s like and appreciate what I have." (SWOON)
12. Chad
Chad is 28 from Tulsa, Oklahoma, he's a luxury real estate agent (in Oklahoma?) and he's 6'2. Judging by his profile on ABC.com, I think Chad is going to be this season's villain, if he makes it past the first night. His answer to “Who do you admire the most in the world and why?" "If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be and why?" and "If you could have lunch with one person, who would it be and why?” was “Myself in 10 years, alright, alright, alright.” WHAT does that even mean and WHY? He also said his greatest achievement was “being born good looking.” He's pretty but nope, get him away.
13. Robby
Robby is 27 from Jacksonville, Florida, he's a former competitive swimmer and he's 6'1. Despite the fact that he listed "being handsome" as on of his best qualities, he seems incredibly sweet and genuine so I'd keep a keen eye out for him.
14. Alex
Alex is 25 from Oceanside, California, he's a U.S. Marine (swoooon) and he's 5'7 (womp, womp). He loves being in love, he once ripped the door off a crashed, burning car and pulled the unconscious driver to safety and he's not into the whole "booty dancing" thing. Cutie.
15. Christian
Christian is 26, from L.A., he's a telecom consultant and he's 5'11 (eh). The most outrageous thing he has ever done was give lap dances and strip shows in college. He wants to "spoil his grandchildren," he has two cats and he used to have a dog but his ex-girlfriend gave herself custody.
16. Brandon
Brandon is 28 from L.A., he's a "hipster," (your style does not count as an occupation, dude), and he's 6'4 (#NICE). I guess he's unemployed but I cannot say for sure. He described himself as humble but humble people don't do that. He wants The Notebook kind of love.
17. Coley
Coley (unique name, huh) is 27 from Chicago, he's a real estate consultant and he's 6'2. His favorite holiday is "4th of July because 'Merica." When asked if he was a romantic he replied, "Yes, because fire will never stay lit forever, so you’ll need sparks at opportune times," which I do not have a reply to. He considers the Harry Potter series his all-time favorite books (WIN).
18. Nick S.
Nick S. is 26 from San Francisco, he's a software salesman (it wouldn't be The Bachelor/Bachelorette without one!) and he's 6'1. He once chased a mountain lion, which doesn't seem like a well thought out decision, he dislikes "scary cheeses," (???) and his greatest achievement to date is being an eagle scout. Bold choice on the neck scarf, Nick S.
19. James S.
James S. is 27 from Phoenix, he's a "Bachelor Superfan" (dramatic sigh) and he's 6'1. Again, I'm guessing he's unemployed. The one thing he wouldn't do for love is go to a sushi restaurant. He considers himself a romantic and attributes that as the reason he hasn't been "intimate" with a lot of women. Bachelor Superfan? Really?
20. Peter
Peter is 26 from Chicago, he's a staffing agency manager and he's 5'11. He once went through a sk8er boi and "thuggish" phase. He wishes he lived through the Mesozoic Era so he could see dinosaurs.
21. Sal
Sal is 28 from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, he's an operations manager and he's 6'2. If he was stranded on a desert island, he said he would bring a "cell phone, gun, portable air conditioner." He also said, "No Kardashians on the island." He once had a bowl cut, SMH Sal.
22. Nick B.
Nick B. is 33 from Fort Lauderdale, Florida (anotha one), he's an electrical engineer and he's 6'1. His favorite magazine is "Ducks Unlimited," and honestly, that's the only thing you need to know.
23. Vinny
Vinny is 28 from Delray Beach, Florida, he's a barber and he's 6'0. First of all, look at this guy's haircut...I'm guessing he cuts his own hair because yikes. Anyways, he once frosted the tips of his hair to look like Justin Timberlake and the one thing he would never do for love is "use turkey meat."
24. James F.
James F. is 34 (the oldest of the group) from Nashville, he's a boxing club owner and he's 6'2. He left his job as a chiropractor to pursue his acting and fitness dreams. He once had a buzz cut with bangs. The visual is enough to make me shudder.
25. Will
Will is 26 from Jersey City, New Jersey, he's a civil engineer and he's 6'2. One of his favorite movies is Good Burger (#TBT). He would like to be John Mayer for a day so he could "melt faces with a guitar solo" and then "melt hearts with some sappylyrics."
26. Evan
I saved the best for last. Evan is 33 from Nashville and he's an Erectile Dysfunction Expert (eeeeeek!) and he's 5'11. He believes in his sexual energy, his deal breakers include girls with chipped nail polish and girls who have serious food allergies (not kidding), he loves booty dancing and wants to be Trump for a day. He's quite the guy, huh?
Enjoy the premiere, Bachelor Nation!
