In times of distress, there are many places to turn to for comfort, whether that be a good friend, your significant other, music, or even a movie on Netflix you’ve probably seen a hundred times over. Maybe some comfort food will do it. But here’s the issue, all of these things will help as long as we are only focusing on that specific behavior. For most people, it comes naturally. But then there are certain individuals, like myself, who cannot always take solace in these rewards without being accompanied by simultaneous stress. Personally, my mind likes to run in different directions. I’m too inundated by the crowd of responsibilities and obsessive thinking that I forget to act as myself.

This is where meditation can sometimes come in handy. Actually, the word for it really isn’t meditation, but more along the lines of mindfulness. Mindfulness is the act of being present, wholefully and with complete non-judgmental acceptance of your thoughts, emotions, sensations at the moment. Stress comes about when the mind is trying to juggle many things at once, and so focusing on one aspect of the situation becomes a challenge. It can be difficult to reach this mindset, which is why meditation is quite a successful device to tune your frequency to this level of awareness. Imagine not having to worry about the future or about some past event you may feel ashamed of. Mindfulness becomes a form of radical acceptance--saying yes to this future, saying yes to everything around you.

Consider it like this: when you’re thinking, it’s almost like you’re watching traffic pass by on a busy road and all those cars are just individual thoughts and feelings. Some days this traffic can be quiet, sometimes it’s a bit rowdy and obnoxious. Sometimes, when we ruminate, we start to feel unsettled by this movement of traffic, and we may try to run in front to stop it. But this only causes havoc on the road and may lead to an accident if we're not careful. This running around then adds to the uneasiness and frustration of the mind. We forget so often that we’re only observers of this traffic, no matter how much we want to control those thoughts. Many times we don’t realize that’s what we’re doing--obstructing the traffic. Mindful meditation may be useful when we want to detach ourselves from these feelings, and so we are less pulled back by them.

Training the mind to do this is not an easy feat. One has to be patient and observant. He has to be willing to allow himself to be taken away from the preoccupied ego. Yet, mindfulness is not about slipping away from reality, as with Buddhists sitting cross-legged in isolated monasteries. It is the act of taking that reality and integrating it into a unbiased perspective.

Unfortunately, not all of us have the patience or time to practice such a technique, for we exist in a fast-paced society that prompts us to be mobile and omnipresent. That is why mindfulness does not have to be about meditation. It can be as simple as observing the rhythm of your breath, or taking a minute to describe a particular aspect of your environment, wholefully and without judgment of it. Even more effective, is to notice your bodily reactions to certain situations. Let’s say you’re thinking about an assignment, or maybe you’re too fixated on what you’re going to be doing tonight. It makes you nervous. Okay. How’s your body reacting to this? Are your muscles tightening? Are you grinding your teeth without you even noticing? (For me, that’s usually what happens). Maybe your breath is irregular. The goal, however, is not to change these reactions, but to be aware of them, without judging them. Taking things as they are, not what they ought to be.

Then of course, you have to keep up with the traffic. Those cars are slipping out of your reach and you have to run after them, only to notice you’re doing it again. You may hit yourself on the head for attaching yourself to these thoughts once more, but that’s alright. The point is to not judge yourself for doing that either. To start ruminating again is only a sign of being human. As soon as you notice yourself being pulled away, readjust your attention back to the present. Another important point to remember is that you may still have those distressing thoughts. In fact, you probably will. The goal of the exercise is not to push them away, but to live comfortably with them. Almost like a disturbing roommate who always seems to be around.

So take ten minutes out of your day and get some headspace. For someone who may be busy and just can’t take the time to meditate, ten minutes may be all you need. I’ll tell you, when I awake from this state of mindfulness-which can be hard to practice at first--I feel as if everything becomes novel. Soon enough, you’ll see yourself naturally observing the traffic of thoughts without attaching yourself to them, and maybe then the stress won’t seem so overwhelming.

If you have any more questions about mindfulness or want some resources with good techniques, please feel free to email me at yebrahi1@binghamton.edu