When your college's football team only managed to become bowl eligible because a player on the rival team got penalized for peeing like a dog on the field, you learn to better appreciate some of the finer teams at your school. You've got to really embrace being a Women's Basketball school, and since I couldn't help myself, I have taken this week's AP poll rankings and put my own little, wacky spin on it. Feast your eyes on the new rankings of the top 25 as determined solely on the strength of their mascots.
Stanford

https://pixabay.com/photos/sequoia-forest-redwood-274158/
Mascot: Cardinal but really a tree
Actual Ranking: 6
My Ranking: 25- When Stanford says Cardinal, they mean the color not the animals. Usually their mascot is then seen as a tree. Ahhhhhhh, I'm quaking in my boots.
Indiana

https://twitter.com/IndianaWBB/status/1217980588172480517/photo/1
Mascot: Hoosiers
Actual Ranking: 20
My Ranking: 24- We now begin my trio of mascots that make no sense, and this one is at the bottom, because Indiana doesn't use a cute doggo to try to hide the fact that no one knows what a Hoosier is.
Tennessee

https://twitter.com/RedditCFB/status/1109605857669443584/photo/1
Mascot: Volunteers
Actual Ranking: 22
My Ranking: 23- This dog might be living his #bestlife, but I still don't know what a Volunteer is. Do they actually mean a person who volunteers? I am confusion.
Texas A&M

https://twitter.com/ForTheWin/status/513682240577236992/photo/1
Mascot: Aggies
Actual Ranking: 15
My Ranking: 22- I've always been harsh on A&M & their mascot on other lists, so I will let them be the best ranked out of the mascots that make no sense.
Maryland

https://pixabay.com/photos/terrapin-turtle-zurtoise-wildlife-411853/
Mascot: Terrapins
Actual Ranking: 17
My Ranking: 21- Those beady eyes might be staring into your soul, but this guy isn't all that scary.
Oregon State

https://pixabay.com/photos/beaver-rodent-animal-wildlife-3709599/
Mascot: Beavers
Actual Ranking: 10
My Ranking: 20- I mean, if I ever crossed paths with a beaver, I might panic a little, but this guy just looks like he likes to nom-nom on wood and have a good time.
Louisville

https://pixabay.com/photos/cardinal-male-redbird-wildlife-3903642/
Mascot: Cardinals
Actual Ranking: 5
My Ranking: 19- Do all the birds really work for the bourgeosie? That's a secret I'll never tell. XOXO, Gossip Girl. (This one started weird and ended even weirder, but honestly I'm here for it)
Oregon

https://pixabay.com/photos/mallard-anas-platyrhynchos-drake-1893080/
Mascot: Ducks
Actual Ranking: 3
My Ranking: 18- Now this duck does leave me more than a little unsettled, but usually most ducks are just soft, quacking bois.
South Carolina

https://twitter.com/knoxnews/status/663132106340622336/photo/1
Mascot: Gamecocks
Actual Ranking: 1
My Ranking: 17- I understand why they don't want to be called the "South Carolina Chickens", because that doesn't bode well confidence-wise. Out of all the birds on this list, Gamecocks are still much fiestier than a few other options.
Iowa

https://twitter.com/totalfratmove/status/768892373409595392/photo/1
Mascot: Hawkeyes
Actual Ranking: 18
My Ranking: 16- I don't want to utter even a single kind word about any Iowa athletics, but out of all the birds, Hawkeyes would reign supreme.
Arkansas

https://pixabay.com/photos/hog-pig-animal-pork-farm-mammal-2165766/
Mascot: Razorbacks
Actual Ranking: 25
My Ranking: 15- Don't let the fierce name fool you- these chill dudes aren't very ferocious competitors.
Gonzaga

https://pixabay.com/photos/english-bulldog-dog-mammal-cute-3034226/
Mascot: Bulldogs
Actual Ranking: 12
My Ranking: 14- No matter the school, bulldogs are a bomb mascot choice, and they are a lot tougher than you'd think.
Mississippi State

https://pixabay.com/photos/english-bulldog-dog-bulldog-pet-1130970/
Mascot: Bulldogs
Actual Ranking: 9
My Ranking: 13- The superior of all the Bulldogs, These canines put the W in bulldaWgs.
Florida State

https://twitter.com/fsuwbb/status/1220508142901043206/photo/1
Mascot: Seminoles
Actual Ranking: 14
My Ranking: 12- As problematic of a mascot choice as a Seminole might be, the real-life Seminole tribes were probably full of some epic warriors.
UConn

https://pixabay.com/photos/husky-dog-dog-breed-animal-3380550/
Mascot: Huskies
Actual Ranking: 4
My Ranking: 11- She is beauty, she is grace, She'll punch you in the face.
Arizona

https://pixabay.com/photos/lynx-big-cat-wild-animal-wildcat-3334869/
Mascot: Wildcats
Actual Ranking: 16
My Ranking: 10- Welcome to the Wild, Wild West, because we've officially reached the part of the list with all the Wildcats. Buckle up. P.S. Arizona is 3rd for Wildcats, because they are probably always sunburned. Yep, that's my logic.
Kentucky

https://pixabay.com/photos/wildcat-animal-nature-cat-natural-356805/
Mascot: Wildcats
Actual Ranking: 13
My Ranking: 9- Cue the Wildcat chant from High School Musical, because we are on to our next Wildcat, and these are our average, middle of the road ones.
Northwestern

https://pixabay.com/photos/serval-cat-cat-feline-animal-wild-4786294/
Mascot: Wildcats
Actual Ranking: 23
My Ranking: 8- Northwestern remains unchecked as the highest up wildcat, since they're the smart, brainy ones.
South Dakota

https://pixabay.com/photos/coyote-leaping-predator-wildlife-931142/
Mascot: Coyotes
Actual Ranking: 21
My Ranking: 7- Although Wiley Coyote was never very lucky, Coyotes seem like scary enough predators.
NC State

https://pixabay.com/photos/wolf-zoo-animal-hanover-predator-4707294/
Mascot: Wolfpack
Actual Ranking: 7
My Ranking: 6- I mean, they're wolves. Enough said.
Missouri State

https://pixabay.com/photos/bear-nature-animals-baby-3389980/
Mascot: Bears
Actual Ranking: 24
My Ranking: 5- We've got 3 schools of bears to choose from, and MO State is the least superior solely due to them being a little, smaller school, just like this cute, itty-bitty bear shown above.
UCLA

https://pixabay.com/photos/bear-brown-bear-animal-mammal-422682/
Mascot: Bears
Actual Ranking: 8
My Ranking: 4- I don't know. I didn't really have a reason, so enjoy this bear out here just doing bear thingz.
Baylor

https://pixabay.com/photos/grizzly-bears-playing-sparring-210996/
Mascot: Bears
Actual Ranking: 2
My Ranking: 3- Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica. Baylor is the best ranked bear, because why not? The name sounds nice with the alliteration and all.
DePaul

https://twitter.com/DePaulWBBHoops/status/1221148708034707458/photo/1
Mascot: Blue Demons
Actual Ranking: 11
My Ranking: 2- You want to mess with something with Demon in the name. Ok, good luck.
Arizona State

https://twitter.com/espn/status/664570866563289088/photo/1
Mascot: Sun Devils
Actual Ranking: 19
My Ranking: 1- The devil = evil & scary. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.



















